… where sa-tyres never go flat

Yesterday's Tomorrow



Nigerians can be funny. Rather than rejoice and applaud the gallant stride of the Buhari-led administration for delivering the Dapchi schoolgirls from Boko Haram, they choose to use their suspicious nose to sniff conspiracies. As if that is not enough some even claimed – note, without any evidence than suspicion – that it was staged. For real?

If they are right who staged the deal? Were there middlemen in the deal? Or was it a direct deal? Who were the negotiators? Buhari? Shekau? Mansur Dan-Ali? Buratai? Who? How much was paid? How was it paid? In what currency was it paid? Does Boko Haram spend naira?

Who cares about how much was spent? Would they have preferred a forceful demand? Is our military fit to take up such feat? What did Buhari do right? How come it was this fast? Or is Boko Haram simply just pitying Buhari? Who or where is their next target?

How come their target is always young, vulnerable girls? Why not boys? To expand their number base? To satisfy their sexual urge? Besides, do they have sex too? Do they love too? If they do, how do they show it? Are they loved too? I mean, I’m just curious.

They say book is Haram yet they use bombs. Are bombs made by supplicating using comboloio? If they don’t read how do they know what the government or the people are planning for them? If book was taboo isn’t the first verse revealed to the Prophet ‘Read!’? Do they even understand the lexical exegesis of the Qur’an? Confused fellows.

The PDP joined the bandwagon from the back door, humming and puffing with red-hot fury, dressed in jealousy. They took to Twitter to spill their tears like a toddler from whom a discourteous adult has snatched his lollypop. They claimed the kidnap of Dapchi girls was a political shenanigan from the APC. Same way the abduction of the Chibok girls was a political stunt? Poor party. They always seem clueless.

In a press conference in Abuja, the party’s National Publicity Secretary, Mr. Kola Ologbondiyan claimed Nigerians know the aim of the “devilish act”. To him and the PDP, it is not only a devilish act, it is also a move “to delude the public, set the stage for an orchestrated rescue, create a heroic myth and false sense of achievement around the APC administration and serve as a spur for President Muhammadu Buhari’s declaration to contest the 2019 presidential election, perhaps in the coming weeks.”

In 2014 when more than 270 Chibok girls were snatched from us, Johnathan (sorry, Dr. Johnathan; how could I forget that?), the then President, was snatched away too — by intelligence slumber. And before he could recover, he was already out of Aso Rock en route Otuoke. When is he going to declare his intention to run again? Poor man.

His wife, Mama Patience, also a doctor — remember her? — had no patience to hold her inglorious tears. Someone said in all the schools she went – even the ones abroad – she was taught in Igbo and pidgin that is why her English is so deficient. She further baptized us with a national ridicule of all-time. By the way, where is she currently? EFCC won’t let her ‘enjoy’ her hard-earned slice of the national cake. Poor woman.  I spotted her at Fatimah Aliko’s wedding in Kano, all smiles and clad in her typical pinky gown, wearing a pancaked face that concealed all her old age wrinkles. We missed her dramatic speeches and heroic humour. It may be the relief dose we need in this hard time.

By the way how come it is APC who has been gallant enough to deliver the snatched girls twice? Is it competence? Is it Buhari’s track record of fighting local insurgency? Or is it that certain persons in the party have a connection with the Boko Haram elements?

The IGP has visited schools in Bornu, Yobe, and Adamawa. He promised the students that the Policemen will be with them 24/7. The innocent children trusted him, roaring with sincere joy. How much trust should they have? Why do we always have to wait for them to strike us before we protect ourselves? He advised them to share any suspicious or strange sight with the Policemen. But have the Policemen been armed with the ammunition and intelligence to rebuff any move to strike by the ‘defeated’ sect? Are we assured that the security arms of the country have learned their lessons and such will never happen again?

Back to Buhari. He has shown, time and again, that he is the man for the big occasion. He delivers when you least expect that any hope is in sight like a certain Arsenal Football Club. He has shown that his administration might have battled too many peace and defensive threats. But, as many as they could be, he can cancel out the deficit by breaking the deadlock with an astonishing offensive onslaught against such threat. He has shown it again by the feat of the Dapchi girls. Who else can boast of such rich CV?

The bragging right couldn’t have returned earlier. You can always say you are the best like Muhammad Alli so long you can back it with result. One of Buhari’s angelic ministers, Mansur Dan-Ali, Minister of Defence, became an actor of braggadocio.

“Basically, I want to speak on the impression that people had that we cannot get the girls released,” he began with full confidence and an obvious face of joy. “If you can remember the last interview I had with Channels Television, I said in two weeks, two months or less we are going to get the girls released and this has happened.”

Dear reader that is walking the talk. Would anyone beat the man’s sense? Even if anyone does, his common sense is simply out of reach for anyone to beat.

At least insecurity is a global issue. We were all alive when the self-acclaimed “God’s own state”, the United State, was thrown into pandemonium by a 19-year-old Nicholas Cruz. Cruz had entered a school and rained gun bullets everywhere, killing 17 pupils. That is the country with the best military in the world, whose toupee President has just increased the spending of his country’s military by $1.3 trillion. How much more Nigeria? Or isn’t that amount way above our national budget? We are trying. Please, Buhari is simply it come 2019. Forget about what anyone says. They talk a lot.

Those saying he is baba go slow. They themselves are “Omo holdup”. Must we complain? Abah! Did they not say slow and steady win the race? In fact, the Yorubas like to caution hastiness when they say, akìí kánjú lábéè gbóná (he who hastily licks a hot soup risks his tongue being burnt). Buhari’s slowness is not weakness but rather a full mastery of the words of the wise.

It took Mahathir Muhammad 22 years (1981-2003) to fix Malaysia. It took Lee Kuan Yew 8 consecutive terms in office for 30 years (1959-1990) to turn Singapore around. It took Jerry Rawlings 26 years (1981-2002) to put Ghana on her two feet. It took Meles Zenawi 12 years (1995-2012) to get Ethiopia afoot. Please, we should not expect Nigeria to be fixed in 3 years. No. Buhari has to return in 2019. Remember there is power in continuity and consistency.

Let me draw your minds to happenings outside the shores of our Atlantic ocean. Though the economy of Russia has been faltering in recent time, the Russian people still believe in the power of continuity and consistency by reelecting the world’s most powerful man, Vladimir Putin. After 18 years in power, he was handed another 6-year term because you just cannot compromise continuity. China took a longer step further. She has just passed to law a lifetime term for her President Xi Jinping. Nigerians we can learn from these people. Biko, it is either Buhari or Buhari come 2019. Is everyone in line?

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I, Bayode Otitokoro, fell in love with the truth from childhood. My mantra is: in an unjust society silence is a crime. With satire, I will clad my society in the attire of sanity.

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Abass Abdurrasaq Adesola
Abass Abdurrasaq Adesola
6 years ago

Yes. It is either Buhari or Buhari.

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