Punocracy

where sa-tyres never go flat

Nigeria

Unseriously Serious

How to get away with (extrajudicial) murder in Nigeria: A beginner’s guide

by Tubosun Ajanaku

How fortunate one must feel to be a Nigerian, to come from a country where absolute freedom is not a myth and impunity reigns supreme. When a great man (we are not sure which one) famously proclaimed that “your liberty to swing your fist ends just where my nose begins,” he certainly had not heard about the wonderful country called Nigeria. He, especially, betrayed his ignorance of that special creature known as the Nigerian Policeman or the Nigerian Soldier for whom the liberty to swing their fists ends wherever the fists end. Full stop.

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From Our Allies

How to be a Nigerian woman

by Guest writer

First off, I must thank you because you have decided to learn a few tricks about being a woman. Most Nigerian women are often loathe to topics such as this. Conversations that teach them how to be better are often met with disgust and a strong detest. They refuse to listen to the voice of reason and sound opinion, well, except you’re their father in the Lord or spiritual leader, as the case my be.

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From Our Allies

The noble efforts to give almajiris a bright future

by Guest writer

Even if they see a ray of hope or interest in something as Haram as Makarantan Boko, a thunder of “infidel” and soothing lashes of loving whips will never touch their backs. What do you need western education for? Without it, the commissioner rose to the top. He loitered the street, begged for money from passersby, almost got ran over by cars daily, ate crumbs from the plate of strangers and, when it was time, he was handpicked from the street and was sworn in as a commissioner the next day. You don’t have to strive; striving is rebellion.

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Lamentations of an Egbere

From soccer to liquor: Taraba’s terrific approach to handling the coronavirus

by Godswill Gwanzwang Elisha

It is no surprise that the incredibly strong compliance with the measures put in place by the government to curb the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic has gone unnoticed, unpublicised and, as expected, un-lauded. It is my intention to cast light on same and to perhaps inspire other states to follow suit in what will most likely go on to be dubbed the “Taraba Example”.

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