… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
Our leader–Man of the Pee Poo pulls out the car manual, but it’s written in Chinese, a language he can’t comprehend except the “one-year warranty” part. So he begins the journey with the words, “We go run am.” But not long after, a stench reaches the noses of the passengers. With concern, they suggest he hand over to Obi, a more qualified driver, as the journey is too far. However, he dismisses their worries with a nonchalant, “Just get me quality diapers.”
The worker ants are those government workers commuting between anthills of metal and glass, wearing threadbare suits and those fancy puppy leashes they call ties. They weightlift crumbs of the national cake bigger than their own financial size to pay homage to the colonial masters before ultimately falling apart, appendage by appendage, to be sustained only by the trickle of nutrients we call pension.
where I come from
our mothers change prayer houses like fancy clothes
and fathers sometimes ain’t so spiritual
because it’s a woman’s duty to pray for them
They call them a praying mother or wife
Wole has never cared much for politics. But when Bunu ran for president, he whipped out his voice and dedicated every second of his Internet hours to support his campaign. He doesn’t know about the man’s ethics or competence, but he’s from his side of the map and his neighbour’s in-law’s cousin used to work at his company. So you never know.
“UP NEPA,” like Nigerians usually chorus when the light comes on after a week or more of blackout, shows the love and understanding between her citizens and electricity providers. If not for love, why would you hail them? There would’ve been light 24/7, but the love will fade over time and neither NEPA nor its customers will have reasons to visit each other as they do now. And the switcher who flicks the lights on and off will become bored of his job.
Times are hard. Allocation is not enough. And, as a university administrator, you must balance your books. If you worry about how you are going to do that, worry no further: I’m here to help. Start with these five steps.
The Naijirian government hereby advises her citizens going to Parees to reconsider their travel in the light of bedbug infestation in the city. The bedbugs carry a high risk of sucking your blood, disturbing your sleep, undermining your confidence, and making you unproductive — all of which we care deeply about.
Now, we will open the line for callers to contribute. The topic we have been discussing is: Ahead of the election tribunal judgement, what is your opinion? You already know the rules. Move away from your radio set. Do not use swear words. Remember, we are in the state of the ọmọlúàbí. And mention your name and where you are calling from. Hello, good morning.
Even our prominent president reportedly set the pace in sign-a-thon. Apparently, to prove a point, Mr President hit the ground running by signing four bills in two weeks! The president deserves an accolade and a certificate of excellence as, perhaps, the first number one citizen to achieve this feat. Though a critic ridiculed the achievement by saying the bills are low-hanging fruits, I think it is deserving of a medal from no less than the GWR headquarters.
Commercial motorcyclists are notorious for driving without regard for their life. Well, it is because they have so many they can afford to be reckless, a new study now tells us.
