From Our Allies

Man to Martyr: The ‘Soworape’ of the Rule of Law. 

Umu Nigeria, Freedom is not free, the press can’t be allowed to report freely because their owners are either enemies of the government or potential enemies, people like Sowore and co. The people do not deserve a collective power because they don’t know what they want. If you don’t know that N30,000 is more than enough to sustain a family of six for over a month, how then do you know what is good for you?

From Our Allies

Once upon a (great) country 

In another state, the governor reiterated that the king’s welfare is paramount to the workers’ survival because who are the workers without the king. So he went on to buy a Rolls Royce with a few billions of Naira for the king of one village without paying the workers’ salary. Of course, the workers did not move a finger in protest since they understood the importance of a new car purchase for the king, whose old cars were unbefitting of his status in the league of powerful kings.

From Our Allies

​Th​​e seven commandments of surviving in Nigerian politics 

Politics in Nigeria is so fickle and vacillating. No one can be so sure of what comes next. One minute, the masses are singing your praises and the next moment you are struggling to get them to vote for you. This might be because of a single action or inaction which you consider insignificant but turns out to be significant enough to pull you down. So always have a backup plan.

The T.A. Report

Democracy files for divorce. ‘I’m leaving Nigeria for Dubai,’ she says. 

Democracy said she can no longer tolerate Nigeria’s abusive behaviour. Almost consistently, he hits her with the rattan cane of electoral malpractice, the bullwhip of press censorship, as well as the leather belts of indiscriminate arrests and illegal detentions. According to her, the injuries she sustained from the gubernatorial elections in Kogi and Bayelsa states, where both electoral materials and electoral officials went missing, nearly killed her.

From Our Allies

We rice by closing borders 

There might be too much sand in the local rice, but how does the average Nigerian youth who is lazy learn the importance of hard work if we keep feeding them with the type of rice they get to wash once and cook, without hassles? Can you believe there are brands of foreign rice you can cook right away without even washing first? God forbid that our government of ostentatiously high integrity continues to indulge that kind of laxity.

Press Release

Punocracy holds first Prize for Satire award ceremony, declares Nov. 9 World Satire Day 

“We could easily tell you that according to history books, November 9, 1989, was when East Germany denounced the Berlin Wall after which German citizens tore it down, and how we want the day to fit into this narrative of freedom and absence of censorship. Or we could tell you that November 9 (11/9) is actually an inversion of 9/11 and tie this to how there are always alternative, civilised ways of venting grievances … But the truth is it is just a convenient date for us.”