… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
The idea of sitting out a topic one has little knowledge of should never resonate with you. You see, social media conversations are unlike other types. You’re likely going to be chiming in your viewpoint amid tens of others who may or may not know quite a few things about the hot topic.
We gained independence in 1960 from the British, but we’re about to be recolonised by the Chinese. It’s only a matter of time before we’ll all become Nigeria-born Chinese because of the unquenchable love of our hardworking leaders for Chinese loans. After squandering what benevolence has brought to our domain, they resort to borrowing.
Whether it is to snatch ballot boxes or spell coconut, we don’t refuse to answer when the elders call, especially when they shake our hands with a handful of freshly minted 1000 naira notes. We are not doing it for the money o. We are simply snatching ballot boxes and protesting because it is unfair to cheat such a kind and pleasant politician.
Mr President sir, it is because of this that we believe that distracting them will be the best option to douse the tensed atmosphere of the nation. You know Nigerian youth, sir, when you called them lazy, you were right and only being factual sir; they will forget their clamours and agitations as soon as there is something to entertain them. They will forget their pitiable conditions and get so absorbed in the ecstasy of their temporary eldorado.
Despite running for 60 years, the series has gone uncredited. Nobody has claimed to be the writer, producer, or director of the show. Actors just spring up every now and then, receive their scripts, play their roles, and move on.
“The entire national assembly probe is a script we’ve written since last year and this fainting episode is meant to be the season finale,” he said. “But see what happened? My whole reputation is on the line. My career is in shambles and I’m even starting to question my life purpose.”
First, your groundbreaking discovery on ‘kovid-one-nine’ is, no doubts, compelling and indelibly etched into the sands of time. All thanks to you, we now know that corruption is the cause of the pandemic. You needn’t be adorned with a lab coat, neither did you go through the troubles of conventional scientific research, you solved a global mystery before anyone could say Jack; a feat deserving of a Nobel prize.
Why did you decide to stop our only way of making personal money? This Covik 1-9 is brought by the gods to repay us of our good deeds. But you have chosen to punish us. You decided to lift the inter-state travel ban; for us the most profitable way of earning money ever.
The first thing you should learn in the faculty are legal maxims. Maxims are usually in Latin. An example is ‘Nemo dat quod non habet’. In law, maxims can be likened to the proverbial palm oil with which words are eaten. You need not understand nor know the meaning of the maxims. Spice your words with them, especially when you are in the midst of non-law students. Make sure to keep them in the dark during conversations with them. This is to guarantee and increase their respects for you.
“This is power. The trust of the gazelles is in me. Leader go, leader come, I, Ajagbe am the leader’s leader, and I will enjoy this power till the end.” Ajagbe dug his already sticky chubby fingers into a bowl of dates as he relaxed in his chair which would soon need replacement if he kept filling his fat belly with dates.
