… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our AlliesSociety

How to boost your IGR if you run a university in Nigeria

How to boost your IGR if you run a university in Nigeria

By: Bello Hussein Adoto

Times are hard. Allocation is not enough. And, as a university administrator, you must balance your books. If you worry about how you are going to do that, worry no further: I’m here to help. Start with these five steps.

1. Inflate acceptance fees.

Why not? You didn’t force anyone to apply.

2. Introduce fees for things students will never use.

Yes, things like WiFi and e-library. You know the works. Good internet access would only make students lazy. They should go to the library like you did in the olden days. It doesn’t matter if your library has outdated books. You’ll restock later.

3. Force students to pay for manuals “they’ll get at the end of the semester”.

Make the manuals a hundred pages long to fulfil all righteousness. They’ll use a few pages, but you must justify the fees.

4. Charge them for convocation even if convocation materials will not go around.

Even the best universities cannot cater to everyone, so you are not expected to do magic. So, ask everyone to pay, but gowns would be first come, first served. Those who don’t have gowns can wear agbada. Or suit.

5. Bake bread.

They say man must not live by bread alone, but that is because they’ve not tasted your bread. Make your own so tasty that students can’t help but live on it.

Print your university’s motto on the label. Let the bread carry the university spirit and excellence. Don’t forget to add pure water, too.

Do these five things. Your students will remain loyal, and your IGR will rise… like bread.

5 2 votes
Article Rating

Share this post

Wanna leave a reply?

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x