Criminal prosecution 101: How to battle corruption; Nigerian Style!
Are you a concerned Nigerian Citizen? Do you want to prosecute high profile criminal cases and battle the endemic disease; Corruption, that has eaten deep into the fabric of the…
The Nigerian government’s guide to road maintenance
There are some silly countries, such as Canada, that have created online forms and helplines just for people to complain about potholes. Every year, the city of Toronto alone spends millions of dollars repairing hundreds of thousands of potholes and then—wait for it—also gives progress reports to the people about how many potholes they’ve massacred. Who does that? Aren’t they aware that potholes are citizens with fundamental human rights? Don’t they know they are a necessary evil that deserve to be treated with love, care, and respect?
How to be relevant in Nigeria
You see when you are doing well to the country, Nigerians will not be happy with you. If there’s adequate security and abundance of food, Nigerians will not acknowledge you. The best way you can be relevant in Nigeria is to have shortcomings in your duties as the President. Make sure there’s no adequate security even when you promise exactly that. Make sure the price of petrol increases drastically even when you promise a tremendous reduction.
My Lord, tell me where to keep your bribe│Niyi Osundare
My Lord; Please tell me where to keep your bribe. Do I drop it in your venerable chambers; Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion. Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank; In your well laundered backyard. Or will it breathe better in the septic tank? Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime.
How Buhari could deliver Justin Trudeau│Tunde Asaju
Canadians are spoilt rotten! They have a handsome prime minister that they insult daily. Early this year, a minister appointed by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau refused gestures to be lobbied to give a judicial soft-landing to a Canadian company – SNC-Lavalin, accused of bribing corrupt officials to do business in Libya. The Minister in question, 48-year old Jody Wilson-Raybould leaked the gesture and later resigned. Ingrate eh? I thought so too. She flatly told the man who appointed her that she felt uncomfortable carrying out her boss’s orders. Just negodu the insolence!
How to be above the law in Nigeria
By: Karshams In Nigeria, to be above the law takes simple procedures, and, surprisingly, they do not require money. To be above the law, you should be a President of…
Who needs a Canadian visa?
Start with the COZA thriller — the sub-plot of protest and counter-protest in Abuja. A group of ladies and men faithful to the randy daddy G.O, it was reported, had hit the COZA church to protest against the anti-rape protesters. Their argument? It is profane and blasphemous to drag the body of Krest…oh no, of Christ in the in petty and muddy allegation of rape. But while the Lord was busy attending celestial matters, the earthly foot soldiers had deemed it fit to come in defence of His anointed. ‘It is not the body of Christ we are dragging in the mud, it is a serial rapist we have come to drag to the prison,’ the other camp protested. Matter laid to rest.
Letter to the Nigerian people. Signed: Your Politician
Just the other day while on a visit to my mother’s, I gave the youths filling up the potholes on the road an handsome cash of N5000. What if the contractor had done the road excellently with expensive materials, how will these youths make money from the hundreds of cars on that route? I’m sure they are making a lot!
Should corrupt Nigerian leaders be publicly executed?│Tunde Odesola
Passengers bolted after the bus like male monkeys on heat chasing after females to unleash testosterone. Some passengers dived in through the door, some jumped in through the window, some got in through the driver’s doorless compartment; gaining entry into the ‘Molue’ is much more difficult than the Power Holding Company of Nigeria providing electricity for 30 minutes nonstop.
Do not urinate here ― short play by Pius Adesanmi
Nigeria’s well-acclaimed King of Satire shared this on his wall on December 18, 2014. Enjoy! A Naija policeman arrests a man urinating at a place clearly marked “do not urinate here”….