By: Mai Kasuwa
Kano state governor, Dr. Abdullahi Umar Ganduje, has monopolised corruption in the state and bragged that his PhD thesis was on ‘Pocketing Dollars’.
Ganduje declared his monopoly of corruption while swearing in the 20 newly appointed commissioners at the Sani Abacha stadium.
The governor who charged the commissioners to be dedicated to impunity and stomach infrastructures in a bid to reach the next level warned that anyone who competes with him in corrupt practices will be shown the way out of office.
“I want to use this opportunity to congratulate you on the new appointment but you are required to measure up to expectation and do all you can to move Kano state to the next level.
“Let me state clearly without any equivocation that anyone of you who engages in corrupt practices will be thrown out of office. There can’t be two kings in a kingdom. I have made frantic efforts to reach the zenith in corrupt and shady dealings; particularly, in pocketing dollars. Therefore, I urge you all to accord me the exclusive right as the Sarkin Dollars of Nigeria,” he said.
Noting that he would have been an academic at a National University of Corruption, Ganduje said his political calling made many people oblivious that he has a PhD in ‘Pocketing Dollars and Glorified Corruption’ from Nigeria’s first university.
“I laugh when people were criticising me for pocketing bundles of dollars in my baban riga. If you were a doctor at Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital or University College Hospital, Ibadan, won’t you move around in stethoscope? How else do they want me to show my expertise in a realm I got my doctorate degree?” he queried.
“If any of you must engage in corrupt practices to accelerate our long walk to the next level, then receive your cash in naira. Anyone caught taking foreign currency other than I will face the wrath of the law.”
Responding to Ganduje’s speech, the Commissioner for Local Government Affairs, Mr. Murtala Sule-Garu thanked the governor for the collective opportunity given to them to continue with their democratic robbery of state resources.
“Your Excellency, sir, we are in this together. We are thankful for the ‘Come and Chop Appointment’. Rest assured of our total loyalty to your government and our strong resolve to ensure your kickbacks come in manifolds. In fact, we die here!” he concluded.
I rest my case. Court!