Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

The Rogue Lawyer

No money, no influence… Success in Nigeria? No way!

When a Court of Justice gives the order for the release of a big man in Nigeria, that order is immediately complied with by the prison officials who know that they are big and, as such, do not need to be protected. For these big men, a motorcade is usually on hand to sweep them out of their legislative cells to go and be continuing their bigness from where they stopped in the real world.

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Lamentations of an Egbere

The road’s prayer: A Nigerian road’s supplicative commentary on the Paternoster

Every year, billions of money that the can break the jaw of a counter are allocated for my manicure and pedicure in the budget. Those monies are always too blind to locate me. The only place they know is the coffers of the same old corrupt politicians. The little that manages to locate me is usually shared with contractors who are always keen on having the lion’s share. Hence, my dreadful state!

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Lamentations of an Egbere

From pit to palace: The rise and rise of Nigerian prisons

In Nigeria, an upgrade, no matter how insignificant it appears, calls for a rechristening. When you roam about Facebook, for instance, you may come across a Kande Kurushepe going by the new name of Yummy-Kandy Krueger-Sheks. Why? She has now acquired a cheap made-in-China Brontel Android phone and has caught up with the teeming webizens of the 21st century on the World Wide Web.

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Lamentations of an Egbere

Sleep comfortably, sweet corruption!

This year’s 29th day of May is significant as it is on this day five years ago that Buhari declared the mother of all wars on corruption. His acceptance speech on that historic day in May 2015 marked the gradual death of Corruption. The story was told of how Mr Corruption could not withstand the superior firepower of Buhari’s highly motivated anti-corruption soldiers.

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The Inspector

How to die well in Nigeria

To die well in Nigeria, you need to have lived an infamous life. And, to achieve this, first be a politician or hold a public office. Do not be a public or civil servant as the office may imply but endeavour to rule rather than serve. For rulership is for the strong, while service is for the weak and gullible. Make sure abuse sets in, trample on the poor, and lie to them.

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