Guest writer

I have come to force myself to believe that after God, you should be the next person to be worshipped. If truly you hacked Zuckerberg’s services, he himself should make sure he finds you and implore you to manage a very important role at Facebook.

In life, things begin to make sense when you put it in perspective. As a child, you must have heard and read a lot of stories about Nigeria, stories from third parties, stories from biased people, cooked up stories from the pit of hell. So here’s Nigeria, giving you a chance to hear about her, from her.

Here is a great opportunity for IPOB and Sunday Igboho, as the chief, their major spokesperson, has met with the president and stated their agitations and what solutions to proffer. Don’t be surprised that the issues will be addressed in no time. Our Man of the Year deserves more credit that he is getting from Nigerians.

Historically, the fear of women has often been overlooked, and so great a downfall befell those who underestimated the powers a woman wields.

Aunty, Uncle, I know you might have forgotten those promises and those things you and your first lover promised each other as undergraduates. We are here to remind you.

I write this address with utmost sincerity and I plead with every Nigerian to reason with me. Nigeria remains our own. We are working tirelessly. Shun critics — they will feed on their shame soon.

And how do you rescue a dead personnel? By going the traditional way — calling his spirit to fight for his country against terrorism.

Where I come from, rice is a must-have meal at home. As an original bred Nigerian, you must eat this food at least three times in a week or you die. Our existence depends on it. It is the air we breathe.

Irrespective of the past and recent events in the country, I vehemently believe that our friends abroad and Nigerians in diaspora are still desiring to be in Nigeria. Some may not be bold enough to say this but I know their minds. They miss a whole lot. The dramas, the tears, thrilling headlines, and many more a government could offer it citizens.

With the situation of things, the general needs to be appeased with six kegs of palm oil and an unblemished female dog, with fresh palm wine.