Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

Buari swears to apprehend perpetrators: A short address to Nigerians

Buari swears to apprehend perpetrators: A short address to Nigerians

By: Aniebiet Effiong


Fellow Nigerians,

Governors of all the states,

Nigerian Army headquarters,

I have decided to pen this address not because I am not intelligent or sound enough to air it, but because of the recent power failure caused by lack of solar which may hinder plenty Nigerians from being reached. This may look unusual but such are the ways of a highly intuitive and innovative leader. Bear it in mind that everyone shall be reached as this address shall be translated into every language for the benefit of those not exposed like the few of us here.

I write this address with utmost sincerity and I plead with every Nigerian to reason with me. Nigeria remains our own. We are working tirelessly. Shun critics — they will feed on their shame soon.

Sequel to the recent killings in the country which have incited an uproar in many hearts, leaving millions of Nigerians in doubt of their safety, I want to first of all apologize for not being aware of all the incidences that may  have occurred — the NDA invasion by gunmen, Plateau killings, that of Akure, and the rest. This is what an average President wouldn’t do but I don’t mind. I am here to serve you. Sincerely, if I had known, I would have used my power as the commander-in-chief to stop those miscreants from their evil acts. Also, in this short address, I want to once again assure you with my blood of your security as a Nigerian in Nigeria.

However, before I continue, as a professional road driver, you have to observe your side mirrors to be sure you don’t drive into anyone coming from behind. This is what my administration has never failed doing. I blame the past government for this insecurity issue that is suddenly trying to creep into the nation. And you should too.

The federal government remains resilient in making the security of the citizens and their properties a top priority. This is evidently seen in the country considering the fact that I have deployed army men to all the states in Nigeria to halt the destructive efforts of the enemies. More so, to states that need more peace, residents in Jos can attest to this profound truth.

Notwithstanding, I have organized my men to combat the Talibans and so restore peace and salvation to the Afghanis the way I did to Nigeria in 2015 when I heard their wails of Boko Haram here and there, banditry, kidnappings, fund diversion, etc. Insha Allah!

Therefore, I urge the soldiers, parents, cadets, and all Nigerians to keep calm, remain loyal and law abiding, and also go about their legitimate duties and work without the fear of gunmen, bandits or insecurity — as normalcy will be restored sooner than thought. 

I admonish the Nigerian army to be careful as they carry out their duty. It is required of them that, as they go in there to strangle crime, no blood should be shed without proper verification of who they truly are even if they are caught with illegal arms. This is to avoid unnecessary killings. I urge them not to take laws into their hands as the perpetrators and sponsors of those who trespassed the NDA premises shall be duly fished out and brought to book accordingly.

To those who may attempt to develop any form of self-defence mechanism, I beg you to avoid such as all your battles shall be fought from the Villa.

I have instigated this and many guiding philosophies to protect Nigeria:

I am the same yesterday (1984), today (2021), and beyond. I am the unchangeable changer, the convener of women in the oza room crusade, the apostle of 1960 grazing routes.

Once again, long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria! Long leave Nigerians, home and abroad!


Asides being Aniebiet Effiong, loving Poetry, Pepsi, Adaugo, Afang soup, and watching Messi, sometimes all I need is a good satire to keep me going. Social media handles: Facebook — Aniebiet Effiong; Twitter — @aniebieteffion8; WhatsApp — 08024032005

5 1 vote
Article Rating

Share this post

Wanna leave a reply?

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x