… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

Will Nigeria do something about growing insecurity? Of course.

Will Nigeria do something about growing insecurity? Of course.

By: Halimah Adisa

The world is at its feet and it is just 7:30 am. Taliban has taken over Afghanistan and, in Nigeria, Bandits are taking over the Defence Academy. Should now be a good time to clamp down on insecurity?

The Nigerian Army is not a robot despite its sensitive awareness to protect the nation from insecurity. They are the hope laid before the citizens — the ones who protect themselves alongside their families.

They have fought battles for the country and that’s why we still have few pillars standing. They might not have conquered and killed Shekau, but their torment could have also been a reason for his suicide. I mean, they left a mark on him. Even a lazy man with no zeal for anything but sleep appreciates the excellent works they have put together over the years.

Bandits may take over the academy and replace it with chaos and talks. They may walk away killing and abducting officers and getting ransoms, exploring Taliban tactics. But will the government go after them? Yes, they will. They will motivate them with gentle words and set workshops for them to repent and they will provide them jobs because only strong men enter a lion’s den and still come out strong. They will realise how bright they’ve shown to have gotten the recognition of the state.

Meanwhile, the president whose lust for power and his country’s resources will be sitting in a room watching tapes from his daughter’s wedding.

Infuriated citizens will rant and the fear of unsafety will take over their thoughts. To leave their state to another might involve not just paying a fare to the commercial drivers but paying a ransom to the commercial terrorists. They are afraid of the nights that were once for rest and moonlight stories. Even stars are scared they might be plucked and sold. 

Who is bold enough to enter the NDA? Bandits! They will say, “This is our nation and we can do whatever that pleases us.”  Now let’s get to the talks they left while raiding.

On the 24th of August, the Nigerian Defence Academy, Kaduna, was attacked by bandits and they killed people and abducted a senior officer.  It has trended on the Nigerian Twitter with the hashtag #NDAAttack. Thoughts were shared by tweeps that this could be their way of exploring the Taliban’s game. “Let’s shake and crumble their defence academy, then move to Aso Rock and crumble the rocks to sand.”

Former Naval Commodore Major Kunle Olawunmi, while speaking with Channels TV, indicated that some serving senators, governors, and friends of the president sponsor banditry …

The CDS, General Lucky Irabor, expressed his grief like a boy who cried wolf. “This madness must stop,”  he cried

After rants from Nigerians, NDA spokesman Major Bashir Jajira came out to assure the entire populace that the abducted personnel would be rescued and the bandits would soon be apprehended. As usual, they would probably enroll them in a vocational training centre and come in few months to announce to us that “they are now repentant bandits.”

And how do you rescue a dead officer? By going the traditional way — calling his spirit to fight for his country against terrorism. 

Halimah Adisa is an undergraduate of the University of Ilorin. She’s interested mainly in arts.  She is an attendee of Kunle Ologunro 2019 writers’ workshop, and was shortlisted for the 2020 prize for satire. She is known on Twitter as leemah_deesah.

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