… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
Once you are born in Nigeria, you already have the special privilege of being a citizen of the poverty capital of the world. At this point, you must pray hard even before you can talk, so you are not one of the 4 in 10 Nigerians living in extreme poverty. If you even happen not to be at the point of birth, your prayers must not cease, lest you are one of the 6 Nigerians falling into poverty every minute.
Let’s come home. Who needs much education or enlightenment to be a senator? You’d better perfect your bootlicking skills, master the art of making empty promises, follow the orders of your Alpha; and you’re on your way to Abuja.
Ever since the inception of Nigeria, her leaders have always been full of promises upon promises, without action. We should just rename the country the Land of Promise or the Federal Republic of Dreams.
Wait for it: If Nigeria should happen to you, your father would keep visiting the United States of America for the slightest headache, but he will emphasise that irrespective of how ill you are you must not go beyond the United States of Abule-Egba in the search for a cure to your ailment — in order to save some token for national development and increase the rate of underdevelopment in the country.
You cannot tell whether you live in a colony simply by looking at your constitution. Constitutions have lots of dead letters: rights that are there in writing but dead-on-delivery. To help you decide the colonial status of your country, we put together this rough-and-ready ten-point test.
Pastor Matthew, the tithe collector from England, came out to recklessly decree that this God-given honour in every girl child and grown woman should be defiled with ecclesiastical impunity by the pastor of KOSA in Abuja, because he was “called, committed, consecrated and covenanted by God” to rape and ruin the lives of Nigerian women.
I see how the White House, from the Secretary of States to the Defense Secretary, is trying so hard, interview after interview, to justify the assault on Iraq’s sovereignty and the assassination of Soleimani. It’s pitiful how much of a terrible job they are doing. For the first time since Trump became POTUS, this is the most selfless decision he has made, causing such a surge in oil prices, leaving every member of OPEC pleased and richer than the night before, this is an angle the White House should explore in defending the president’s action.
The person who convinced women that their freedom is in nakedness and body positivity lies in indecent exposure scored a screamer for patriarchy. Legend.
It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing one of Iran’s most senior army officials, Quassim Solammin.
I trust Nigerian youth. They understand that there is no way the kingdom of God will suffer violence and earth will be left out of the play. Who has the time to compose “take him out of the office” nonsense… when we have an endless number of songs composed by angry and faceless composers. Where is “We no go gree o, we no go gree!” or “Bubu, ole, Sarak ole!”?
