From Our Allies

With the situation of things, the general needs to be appeased with six kegs of palm oil and an unblemished female dog, with fresh palm wine.

A hungry man is an angry man, but you’ll find a man angrier when the food he’s offered brings dissatisfaction rather than the opposite. The consumption industry is fast catching up with the construction industry in terms of utilising gravel as a raw material.

Yet some people would go ahead to heap blames on Buhari. Yet some would even count him incompetent without knowing the spiritual effect of what happened in 1975. Please join me as we put all the blame of this regime’s failure on the coup.

If bandits could kill these ones, it doesn’t mean there is insecurity in Nigeria. Believe me. I tell you the truth. These common bandits are only trying Buhari’s patience. See, that he is long-suffering doesn’t make him a coward o! He will fight o! He will crush them all o! He still has his military uniform o!

Recently, news broke out that the Nigerian Hair Force “allegedly” killed over 20 Nigerian Harmy personnel by airstrike. It is important to note that no one is above mistake, moreover the news has to be properly investigated before we state whether it is true or not.

Three, it saves unnecessary cost incurrence from buying sophisticated military arsenal. We won’t need to be wasting money on purchasing up-to-date weapons for our soldiers since there will be more than enough human beings to serve as cannon fodder.

Copycatting is an endemic feature of an African who lives in Africa. And when you engage yourself with this African style of inauthenticity, let it be the western style that you will copy. Forget the west humiliated us with colonialism and some of them said “Africans cannot think” and forget that that means we don’t have our own pre-existing ways of doing things before they discovered Africa.

1. Do not keep your clothes smart to your body: You see, ironing clothes, starching them or putting necessary gators on your shirts/trousers are time wasters and, trust me, you wouldn’t want to waste your precious time on things that wouldn’t showcase the level of your erudition.

Except members of your immediate family, the rest are witches and wizards. Their foods are forbidden for you, so are cash and material gifts from them. In the event that you are cornered and have no choice than to except gifts from them, make sure to give them to your mother for effective and thorough cleansing and safe-keeping, as the case may be.