Changing the Narratives: #ProcrastinatorsLivesMatter
As a lifelong member of the coven and after several postponements (of course), I have taken the pains and pleasure of compiling the beauty of the ways of the last minute people for the sheer purpose of sensitisation (these folks need to be educated). Nooo, I do not need to be praised. If I do not do it, who will? Others would procrastinate away, any way.
No, There is Nothing for “Di Boys”
Your stories like the weather keep changing. The next day, you will narrowly miss the person you came all the way to see on the Island and you will need just some little change to get back home. The day after, your car will develop a slight fault down the road and you had left your ATM card at home…
We should all be Buharists
Our religion is focused on ensuring multi-sectorial failure, war against progressive economic policies, cattle and normadic affairs, and entertaining insecurity and terrorist integration. These are the agenda Buhari has dedicated the last six years to achieving. It is the first time a sitting president will centre these four major areas of concern.
The excesses of servitude
Being a despot in Africa is arguably the best job on our planet. I would have said universe but I have to be wary of that innate human hubris which may prove suicidal in the eons to come that makes us assume we are the only sentient beings in the universe or multiverse as the case may be.
How to be a Nigerian Muslim Sister
A lot of people have been so curious on how they can effectively navigate the terrain of being a Muslim sister in Nigeria. Muslim sisters in Nigeria are different from other Muslim sisters in the other parts of the globe. Care to know what distinguishes them?
How to be an aide to a Nigerian Big Man
To start with, your boss, the Nigerian big man, most likely owns a protruding, very concave abdomen, which advances before him like a near-term pregnancy when he walks. This is his cherished certificate of membership to the big men club. You are warned never to grow one. The Nigerian big man abhors competition and treats disloyalty like leprosy.
How not to be an Aregbesola
It is by the grace of God that you have come this far. After many years as a loyal boy and many years in public service as a servant and a product of loyalty-market, I don’t need to tell you the importance of Thanksgiving.
Tips on staying woke and rocking the ASUU strike
ASUU has gone on strike and I know that your monthly allowances might be halted and you’ll automatically become the house boy/girl at home. Imagine a whole social media chic, a Slay Queen or Fine Boy on campus being asked to go and buy N100 Maggi. O wrong naw!
How to succeed as a writer in Nigeria
In Nigeria, the successful or soon-to-be successful writer must run away from see finish. It kills your career faster than cancer eating into an amoeba. Yes, see finish, in the barest minimum. According to the Dictionary of the Nigerian People (2022), see finish is to be “seen finished,” to be seen more than necessary, and therefore to be overseen.