Punocracy

where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our AlliesSocietyUnsolicited advice

5 guys you should never fall for as a smart Nigerian university chic

Is it not just food? Is there anything wrong with giving food to someone you like and care about? My dear sisi ekos, there’s nothing wrong o, ko si wahala kan kan. All I’m saying is that to an Alajeun, you aren’t just being nice and caring to the boy you like. You’re his meal ticket, he is very much aware of whatever games he is playing with you. He is only in contact because you are his food bank, your contact is probably saved as “Priscilla Bukka,” “Ada Food,”  “Zainab Canteen,” or maybe even “Olori Jeun Je Je.”

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From Our AlliesSports

Chelsea’s ungratefulness and why Potter should take legal acton

I won’t lie, this development doesn’t sit well with me, and I am as angry as a wet hen. I will advise Potter to take legal action against the board and the fans. He needs to reclaim his mandate and cleanse his credibility from those ingrates. If he were a Nigerian, Barrister Wike of Rivers State could effortlessly help him; it is his forte. Ordinary putting a call through would restore his mandate.

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From Our Allies

How to think of Africa and Africans

As an African, if you don’t know already, the benchmark of global standards should always be the west. Looking for just and fair democracies? The west has it (never mind cracks in their institutions and racial segregations). Thinking of ways of how the world should progress in the areas of science, arts and technology? The west is the best bet (hey, shut that thought that African cultures, sciences and traditions are equally viable).

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From Our Allies

“I have never received bribe all my life” — Ameshi to sue Magun for plagiarism

From my sources close to the Honorable Minister, I can authoritatively tell you that when news broke out Wednesday that Mr. Magun uttered words during a meeting with the press on never receiving a bribe in his life, the honorable minister was left flabbergasted, utterly astonished, and vowed to fight like every struggling Nigerian out there to protect his verbal properties.

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From Our Allies

A comprehensive guide on how to act straight

I’m well too, just that I’ve been ruminating over what you said the last time we talked: “I’m on WikiHow reading an article on straight-acting.” I vowed not to reply until I found you some help. To make this happen, I had to examine the trail of ash you’re leaving behind for people to see, and browsing your Facebook profile and your Medium articles on self-discovery, the bells started to ring: “This boy is CLEARLY gay! This boy is clearly GAY!”

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