Our pupils shall never go barefooted
Remember the news of a certain state government that distributed school sandals and uniforms worth twenty something million naira to pupils of primary schools? Maybe I’m late to hearing this but it doesn’t matter. I am fascinated by the pictures of those pupils. I see gratitude and excitement on the faces of these kids. It’s what their parents couldn’t offer.
In support of the Hisbah ‘notofication letter’ to Cool FM on Black Friday
We, the Kano intelligentsia, are strongly in support of the content of the notofication letter as we have already understood the Jewish plot to destroy the religious charisma of our great state. Don’t ask me how come e know; when were intellectuals like me ever wrong? We are the defenders of Islam so we know better than you do.
How to be a Nigerian creative
As a creative, it is important to know the right platforms to market your creative hustle. First, the branding starts from you. Get yourself a pseudonym. Something like Pen Lord, Ijoba Creative, Einstein Junior, Bolaji Writes, ©pen queen, Horpheyemhi, Soyinka-in-Chief, Young Achebe, Shakespeare Words or any other name that comes off the top of your head would do. Get your friends to call your new divinely inspired name. You can get it customized on your shirts and books to make it stick faster.
Liturgies of good governance
To the gad who kills all our enemies for us and keeps our loved ones, we thank You. You know we don’t care if they have loved ones. We thank you for always killing them by fire and thunder even when they don’t die. We thank you for not letting our enemies catch us when we take what does not belong to us. For if we were caught they’d have called us thieves. Since they never caught us, we are not thieves. We are innocent.
Becoming a super striker: Nigerian version
As a federal university teacher under the umbrella of ASUU, you must agree to go for the longest vacations on a yearly basis in Nigeria. At least, using nine months for long vacation and the other three months for academic business will improve the condition of service and revitalisation of varsities.
FG’s clampdown on terrorism: #EndSARS promoters latest to be proscribed
The capabilities of the #EndSARS Promoters and their terrorists plan must really be a pain in the neck for the current CBN governor and to a large extent the federal government for him to keep meandering towards the newly proscribed #EndSARS Promoters each time questions are asked about the tracing of the funds for Boko Haram. A thing worse than Boko Haram is probably finally here and the government are getting jittery about it.
Letter to a brother in the diaspora
Sadly, the rate of Covid-19 infections has increased as a result of the so-called End SARS protest which was spearheaded by some internet fraudsters and hoodlums. But thank God the accounts of those who sponsored the movement have been frozen. A good one by the government! That’s a reward for protesting against good governance.
The law-abiding CCTV camera
According to insider reports, the CCTV cameras suddenly stopped working at 8 pm in observance of the curfew imposed by the government. He said, “Our cameras at the Lekki toll gate have a high sense of moral duty which includes obeying the laws of the land. It is not unprecedented that the cameras refused to work on the night of the curfew. How do you truly give your all for a country if you don’t obey all her rules?”
End SARS campaign and its many dramatic interludes
The good people of Jos were amazing and kind people, they only took the palliatives and left the land. The state of harmony was almost disharmonised, actually the devil should be blamed. After the discovery of their own palliatives ware-house, Lucifer took the complexion of a shopping mall and other companies. He completely seduced the innocent people.