Sinzu Money finally writes to Imam of Pieces
My name is Sinzu Money as you have rightfully guessed and I’m the president of the rotten giant of Africa. Google that, beesh! For weeks now, since the break out of COVIK-1-9, you’ve turned me, my able office and country into a Twitter punching bag, hitting us from both sides. I don’t know if it was boredom or, as my wife has said, it was the hole in your brain.
How to sell Nigeria
You’ve probably thought about how to sell this country a couple of times. Well, you’re not alone. Rest assured that thousands of other people have been waiting for advice on how to go about this transaction.
Two thousand and twenty proverbs for a governor’s son
An alagba once admonished that “the masquerade that tries too hard to usurp his master by showing off his dance steps on the express shall be jammed by a Dangote trailer.” Our people say that “it is the desires of every father to have his son better him in life and accomplishments”. Without any iota of doubt, the governor wants his son to be better than he could ever be.
Nigeria Airways of blessed memory
The causes of his death are still very much prevalent, but in a more toxic form, yet, they were planning to resurrect him again. They said Nigeria Airways will fly by December 2019. I guess they’ve used it’s wings as collateral for one of those loans they intend to collect. Or they’re not aware it’s already 2020. Iranu yii sha!
A tale of two presidents and two celebrities
If my tale conveys little or no sense to you, please pardon and bear with me. It is the sign of the end times that we live in — dubbed the 5G and COVID-19 age. Nothing is making sense again as common sense has contracted the coronavirus pandemic in Nigeria from a Chinese contractor, upon reporting at the facility that treats the disease, he was sent home for lack of bed space.
All hail Nigeria’s new saviour, Boss Mustapha, who has risen from the dead
Boss Mustapha was blind to the state of the nation’s health system but now he can see. He was dead, but now has arisen. All hail the man, the saviour who at this crucial time has arrived to deliver us from a long-lasting disease, plagued by corruption and bad leadership, insensitivity and negligence.
Dear Republic of China | Fatima Damagum
We know that this infection originated from you people, but we Nigerians, have a forgiving spirit. We forgive you for what you have done to Italy, Spain and France. We even forgive you for what you have done to that country headed by that Blonde man who called us a ’shit hole’ country. We forgive you for all these atrocities because of our long and beautiful relationship. Except for the cancellation of the Premiership league and our yearly Umrah; I am not so pleased with that.
Dr Chris Oyakhilome unveils a new chemical compound
He left academia afterwards to become a churchpreneur, serving the God of Israel. He is a successful businessman with a net worth of $30 to $50 million (2011, Forbes) just by doing God’s work. With his wealth, he has built the most advanced private research facility in the world based in his home country of Nigeria.
Two Nigerian self-taught Nobel laureates you probably didn’t know about
Professor Fẹmi Fani-Kayọde is a self-taught particle physicist and a former Nigerian Aviation Minister. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in physics for his pioneering work on electromagnetic waves in 2019.
Prophet Gates, rape as a weapon and other matters | Tunde Asaju
All over the world, Covid-19 is granting advance tickets to showing the end of all humanity and it looks like nothing envisaged while writing wills. That blockbuster is forcing the wealthy to embrace philanthropy and the poor to seek God early.
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