Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

May Nigeria never happen to you: The Kopid One-Nine chapter

But the urgency of the matters at hand won’t allow me to dive into how the name ‘Nigeria’ was painfully coined because we are now at that point where we can’t establish who is presiding over the country between President Naira Marley – the ever-active Twitter tormentor, Abba Kyari – the Irunmole that eats kilishi and signs presidential letters, and General Muhammadu Buhari – the ever-smiling gentleman who introduced Kopid One-Nine Pirus without talking.

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From Our Allies

COVID-19: Nigerians’ refusal to say please, the genesis of Buhari’s silence

The Parosident has refused to speak, unlike his counterparts in many other countries battling the virus because he hates Showoff and cheap politics. If not, what’s the big deal in setting up a press conference and having him read a prepared address to Nigerians? Even if the speech gets mixed up and does not really relate to the issue at hand. It’s not like Nigerians have choices. They can only shout and talk, nothing more.

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From Our Allies

The first citizen | ‘Kunmi Olamiju

Speaking of gold, I apologise for the delay in the latest shipment. That rodent—you see how he keeps coming up?—has been attacking the mines. You’d think the country with the largest reserve of minerals in the world would be able to shrug off disruptions caused by a ragtag band? I’m surrounded by incompetents. I might take your daughter’s suggestion and insist appointed ministers are vetted first. But we would need a legislature in place for that.

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From Our Allies

Eat the poor to save Nigeria: My political party manifesto | David Hundeyin

In this party, we believe that it is time to stop pussyfooting and do the needful with full awareness and zero guilt. We have been feasting on the poor for decades, pretending to regard them as humans in equal stature to us while sticking forks into them. Today LCC presents another way of doing things – a way that is transparent, fair and forward-looking.

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From Our Allies

I can’t forget the month Of FeBuhari

There is no way Nigerians should forget this month. Not because it’s been five years of repositioning Nigeria back to its rightful place in Africa, but because my eardrums and memory keep replaying the song, chorused by well-meaning, but blindfolded Nigerians five years ago. The chants of welcome to the month of FeBUHARI; a chant coined by Bubu supporters in a bid to sell the alleged converted democrat to Nigerians, and also to signify a new dawn for Nigeria, after — according to them — “the 16 years of destruction by the PDP.”

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