The T.A. Report

Lockdown: SARS officials hit rock bottom, to start door-to-door ‘anti-crime’ visits 

Salami said the officials have recently received valuable intelligence about a group of cyber-fraudsters in Lagos known as Sinzu, Spending, and Jacuzzi, and plans to pay them a visit in the first phase of its operation. “But, you know, we don’t want to disclose too much about that mission so as not to sabotage it,” he added, with a broad grin.

From Our Allies

One more sure way to become a rich Nigerian 

Let’s do the maths: In two hours, if you are on a busy road, you can collect N50 from nothing less than 100 cars or bikes. That is about N5000 daily and N150,000 monthly, in addition to your already guaranteed bumper salary. Well, you might have to share that with your colleagues; don’t be discouraged. Remember the saying, “if you want to go far, go with people”.

The T.A. Report

Weight loss now requirement for promotion of civil servants, says FG 

Workers, sources at the ministry of labour and employment told our reporter, may also soon be compelled to submit documents showing how many days off work they spent overseas as well as church/mosque attendance registers.

“The administration wants to make sure civil servants are taking time out to freshen up and to pray for the country,” an aide to the minister disclosed. “You see, especially now that the minimum wage has been increased, it is important we get value for every penny spent.”