… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
We never saw this coming. You know this has never happened until days ago. No Nigerian has ever been beaten, molested or robbed in SA — this is the first time. That’s why we are slow at reacting. All those former news we heard of the inhumane acts towards you in SA is mere talk. It wasn’t real, that’s why it’s taken us so long.
And then, they get down to the real work of pressing ‘lapi’ all night. Prapapapa papapa. No stopping. Thanks to the seemingly strong internet connectivity our nights afford in Nigeria. These boys don’t just sleep at all; they stay up grinding and hustling hard, with deft fingers. The business is not a walk in the park at all. And that’s what we are talking about — being hard-working without working hard for money. That’s just the Nigerian way.
Nigerians are a humble people, they do not need much proof before they revere you. After all, N2,000 is enough to buy their votes. When you have started the foundation, the media and NGOs would start taking you more seriously. You would be invited to shows, and talks, both locally and internationally. In simple terms, you have blown.
See how all your prayers since 1960 have produced plenty crude oil refinery for the nation, many monumental projects apart from the ones the oyinbos left us with, ASUU has stopped striking like thunder, the number of our of school children has drastically reduced, and we even produce more foodstuff than we can take. See how we export our best hands abroad because of surplus development here, and portable water continues to reach all Nigerians. Sisi mii, aku adura o!
Keep posting things like ’50 people will have N1m before the end of this month. To claim this type amen’. Wait and see the number of amens you will see as comments within an hour. Nigerians, it doesn’t matter the number of times they’ve gone across such post(s), they’ll still comment with amen hoping for a testimony. They love miracles. A Nigerian God blesses people who have faith. He blesses those who don’t work hard.
Canadians are spoilt rotten! They have a handsome prime minister that they insult daily. Early this year, a minister appointed by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau refused gestures to be lobbied to give a judicial soft-landing to a Canadian company – SNC-Lavalin, accused of bribing corrupt officials to do business in Libya. The Minister in question, 48-year old Jody Wilson-Raybould leaked the gesture and later resigned. Ingrate eh? I thought so too. She flatly told the man who appointed her that she felt uncomfortable carrying out her boss’s orders. Just negodu the insolence!
He added that the curriculum revision recently done by the federal government has suggested alternatives for topics or theories that may be considered (t)reasonably unfair to the administration. “Solar revolution” is now to be known as “solar gyration” and all historical revolutions, such as the 1917 Russian revolution or the 1959 Cuban revolution, are now to be referred to simply as unrests—but must not be taught in classes.
With the advancement and subsequent domination of Nigeria on Twitter, the nation will welcome tremendous uplift and huge productivity, and her 98 million poverty-stricken citizens will be alleviated. Who still says Nigerians are not intellectuals? Let such have a taste of their defeat on Twitter. Nonsense!
Permit me to also inform you to disregard requests from Iranian government telling you to send El-Zakzaky to their country for medical attention. Like who does that? With the best of medical facilities we have in the country? Who goes abroad for medical attention⸺well, if not you? We that have more than enough medical doctors, and we don’t even mind lending them to the UK or Canada to practice? Don’t mind Iran; their leaders must be jokers. Our medical facility is superior to that of any nation in the world, and the Shiite leader is receiving the best treatment anyone can get.
Why obey a court order when there’s Twitter? Even if lots of innocent, precious lives are lost during a protest over the continued detention of someone despite court orders, all you need is a thread that starts with you “most deeply commiserating with the families” of the victims, continues with a threat to the protesters, and ends with a prayer to God—you know, because Nigerians don’t just love prayers, they also love (authoritarian) leaders who pray.
