Woman-beating senator, Abbo, gives hope to others like him, says award cttee
“Abbo’s achievements give us hope that a man can still walk into any establishment, beat up people who challenge his God-given authority, and walk away with both his manhood and status intact. They give us hope that even the efficiency of security cameras and the outrage of all of the social media aren’t enough to bring down a daring man, no less a lawmaker with higher standards of behaviour. We are excited that such trifles as a man slapping a woman aren’t a genuine concern for the courts and legislature.”
Buhairy buys new toilet called ‘Rule of Law’, says he enjoys shitting on it
Explaining the president’s strange toilet hobbies to the T.A. Report, presidential spokesman Garuba Shior said, since the new acquisition, Buhairy has spent more time in the restroom than he has in his office or even his (otherwise highly cherished) other room.
Giant Abuja broom wins Guinness World Record for ‘stupidest campaign object’
“We would normally expect that it takes decades before this record is broken in another political campaign. But, with the level of passionate competitiveness observable in Nigeria’s politics, we suppose anything really is possible. Giant squirrels, chickens, trees, and so on, we never can tell.”
Certificate forgery is test of ‘a true Nigerian politician’ — says Information Minister
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― Most Nigerians seem not to get it, Information Minister Alhaji Lai Mohammed has said, that the ability to forge a certificate is the hallmark of “a…