Longlist: 2020 Punocracy Prize for Satire
It’s been about two months since we shut the windows to applications for this year’s prize for satire writing competition and it gives us great pleasure to finally announce the longlist of 50.
where sa-tyres never go flat
where sa-tyres never go flat
It’s been about two months since we shut the windows to applications for this year’s prize for satire writing competition and it gives us great pleasure to finally announce the longlist of 50.
Rape, stealing, kidnapping, armed robbery, you name it… The common refrain amongst the perpetrators of these crimes in instances where they have been apprehended is thus, “the devil made me do it”, “it is the work of the devil…”
Meanwhile, experts have suggested the unusual pain experienced by the first lady might be because “she often stretches her neck to look for solutions outside the presidential villa when they are right beside her”. Given her recent press statement, they added, Nigerians should expect that more state resources will be spent on additional trips to the United Arab Emirates.
Get married: Let no one deceive you, if you plan to remain single for a long time or even forever, then you must be ready to entertain snide remarks and different shades of marginalization all through your days. As long as you live in these climes. It really doesn’t matter if you make history as the first female rocket scientist to ever come out of the country.
Today marks my 25th wedding anniversary. Twenty-five years that I have lived with my man. This longevity I celebrate today only came as a result of my unflinching assertiveness. From my reservoir of experience, I will be sharing a few lessons with you. Lessons that if you adopt, ladies, your marriage will be just as lengthy—if not lengthier— and merry.
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) where journalists have, without intending it, become greater comedians than professional humorists. Don’t believe us? Keep reading.
(A parody of the Magnificat) My soul magnifies in Nigerian poli-trick-cians; the best of us – who now double as our saviours. […]
Our students are the golden eggs. Although, they still have to dress in those tightly fitted uniforms. They still have to read (or pretend to read), and be secondary school students just this last time. They still have mathematics to write on Monday. “Nothing to worry about, the good Lord works in mysterious ways.”
From an economic standpoint, the resources committed to the training of our personnel make it unhealthy and imprudent to send them to early graves without them doing much for a country that has given them more than they expected and needed.
Celebrities remain the special breed of humans many others would give an arm to be like. It’s not hard to reckon why: They never seem to lack the panache, looks, beautiful clothes, exotic items of vanity, and of course, the privilege that comes with being a known face.