They toggle the power on and off as if it were a toy they were given to play with as children. At the NEPA office, they chant their slogan before restoring power, “You foolish people, we are about to turn on the light for you,” and when they shut it off again, another slogan resounds, “Back to sender, all your curses are not for us.”

Nigeria is a vast land full of gullible people with no faith. It is where you are told salvation is free but you need to buy anointing oil and holy water, pastor’s stickers and even pay for your miracles. Yes, you have to pay for all of these because the Nigerian god blesses based on the measure you give.

Nigerians will accord you some respect when you go about with your bottle, sipping the water in bits. Never be in a hurry to drink everything at once, no matter how thirsty you are. When you are about to talk to a friend, open up and have a sip. Make sure there’s always at least a quarter of the contents left, at which point you can drop it inside your car. That is more honourable.