Press release Archives

“We could easily tell you that according to history books, November 9, 1989, was when East Germany denounced the Berlin Wall after which German citizens tore it down, and how we want the day to fit into this narrative of freedom and absence of censorship. Or we could tell you that November 9 (11/9) is actually an inversion of 9/11 and tie this to how there are always alternative, civilised ways of venting grievances … But the truth is it is just a convenient date for us.”

The T.A. Report

Nigeria changes currency from naira to ‘long leg’, says policy ‘long overdue’

October 6, 2019October 6, 2019

by Tubosun Ajanaku

Okorafor clarified that the long legs the bank is referring to are not those of a tall woman used to prey on unsuspecting victims, but the local slang used by Nigerians to refer to extraordinary privileges and favouritism, also popularly known as “connection”.

Press Release

Punocracy receives entries for maiden Prize for Satire

August 1, 2019August 3, 2019

by The Punocrat

In a press statement sent to this paper and signed by the team lead, the Punocracy crew said their records show that 171 applications were made for the prize. “But this includes entries that were sent multiple times,” the statement added for clarity.

Unseriously Serious

Why obey a court order when…

July 26, 2019July 26, 2019

by Tubosun Ajanaku

Why obey a court order when there’s Twitter? Even if lots of innocent, precious lives are lost during a protest over the continued detention of someone despite court orders, all you need is a thread that starts with you “most deeply commiserating with the families” of the victims, continues with a threat to the protesters, and ends with a prayer to God—you know, because Nigerians don’t just love prayers, they also love (authoritarian) leaders who pray.

From Our Allies

There is a war coming, but not to worry…

July 20, 2019July 20, 2019

by Guest writer

There is a war coming, and it’s filled with lots of jokes; comedian number one⸺Miyetti Allah. Let’s start with what’s not funny, Miyetti Allah getting pissed. You don’t want a pissed Miyetti on your hands, nahhh. When Miyetti gets pissed, monkeys get socked in blood and we don’t want that either, especially seeing as our monkey’s hate the sight of blood. We must do everything to keep Miyetti Allah happy, even if it means giving out our ancestral lands. After all, Fulanis own all the land in Nigeria; they just leased some out to our forefathers. You didn’t know? Then your ancestors are the ones at fault for not giving you the memo.