Punocracy

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From Our Allies

Naija, we die here: An angle to the country’s hardships they don’t tell you about

by Guest writer

“UP NEPA,” like Nigerians usually chorus when the light comes on after a week or more of blackout, shows the love and understanding between her citizens and electricity providers. If not for love, why would you hail them? There would’ve been light 24/7, but the love will fade over time and neither NEPA nor its customers will have reasons to visit each other as they do now. And the switcher who flicks the lights on and off will become bored of his job.

FEAST
Lamentations of an Egbere

Egbon Aruleba, how dare you insinuate Nigeria is a Marlian Republic?

by Godswill Gwanzwang Elisha

In the aftermath of the small matter of Naira Marley’s flight from Lagos to Abuja and back, from the depth of oblivion you appeared on our airwaves to attack a gentleman who doubles as a president and a role model to many progressive and patriotic Nigerians. That was not just it. You went on to make the absurd insinuation that there may be elements of the Marlian World Oder (MWO) movement in the esteemed Buhari government.

FEAST
The Inspector

Calm down! Our government can’t multitask.

by Bankole Wright

Our government is busy, the health sector is working to fight this pandemic since we have a new saviour Boss Mustapha. The religious sectors will not come out as they are on praying mountains interceding on behalf of the nation, since it is our iniquities that has brought this plague on us. The security officials are too busy in the war against Covid-19 since it is no longer a health matter but a matter of security now.

FEAST
From Our Allies

Ganduje monopolises corruption in Kano, brags of PhD in Pocketing Dollars

by Guest writer

“Let me state clearly without any equivocation that anyone of you who engages in corrupt practices will be thrown out of office. There can’t be two kings in a kingdom. I have made frantic efforts to reach the zenith in corrupt and shady dealings; particularly, in pocketing dollars. Therefore, I urge you all to accord me the exclusive right as the Sarkin Dollars of Nigeria,” he said.

FEAST
Unseriously Serious

The Nigerian government’s guide to road maintenance

by Tubosun Ajanaku

There are some silly countries, such as Canada, that have created online forms and helplines just for people to complain about potholes. Every year, the city of Toronto alone spends millions of dollars repairing hundreds of thousands of potholes and then—wait for it—also gives progress reports to the people about how many potholes they’ve massacred. Who does that? Aren’t they aware that potholes are citizens with fundamental human rights? Don’t they know they are a necessary evil that deserve to be treated with love, care, and respect?

FEAST

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