Nigeria: People’s Republic of China, Phase II
We gained independence in 1960 from the British, but we’re about to be recolonised by the Chinese. It’s only a matter of time before we’ll all become Nigeria-born Chinese because of the unquenchable love of our hardworking leaders for Chinese loans. After squandering what benevolence has brought to our domain, they resort to borrowing.
China jealous as Nigeria imports another draconian legislation from Singapore
It will be recalled that, last week, Nigeria imported a draconian from Singapore called the Control of Infectious Diseases Bill. The T.A. understands that its actual name is the Infectious Diseases Act Pro Max, a slightly upgraded model of the original law enacted in 1977.
Dear Republic of China | Fatima Damagum
We know that this infection originated from you people, but we Nigerians, have a forgiving spirit. We forgive you for what you have done to Italy, Spain and France. We even forgive you for what you have done to that country headed by that Blonde man who called us a ’shit hole’ country. We forgive you for all these atrocities because of our long and beautiful relationship. Except for the cancellation of the Premiership league and our yearly Umrah; I am not so pleased with that.
Dear Aunty Aisha, please stand still. Stop confusing the thunder.
I logged on Twitter to see your name trending. I was excited that our matron was back at giving the cabal their usual dose of gbas and gbos, only for me to get the shocker of my life. I don’t know what surprised me the most, that you were making references to China or that you were encouraging those small boys in the Senate to take away our social media that has saved your marriage more times than a therapist.
Competence insists on remaining in exile as Buhari begins second term
Sources at the state house, who we admit were not very sober at the time, told the T.A. Report that someone called Loyalty has occupied the office previously used by Competence since May 2015. There are indications this office will be converted into a full-fledged agency in the coming months.