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Nigeria: People’s Republic of China, Phase II

Nigeria: People’s Republic of China, Phase II

By: Olamide Francis

Nigeria, a record-breaking country and pacesetter in all kinds of dealings across Africa, is about to break another record. At this juncture, it’s left to anyone who’s still in doubt about our status as the giant of Africa. Giants set the pace, and that’s what we’re doing. More than producing enough comic relief to Africans, we’re about to do the unthinkable.

We gained independence in 1960 from the British, but we’re about to be recolonized by the Chinese. It’s only a matter of time before we’ll all become Nigeria-born Chinese because of the unquenchable love of our hardworking leaders for Chinese loans. After squandering what benevolence has brought to our domain, they resort to borrowing.

Start making plans for the imminent economy. You don’t want to be in ‘shock’ — like someone we all know — when it happens. We’re all living on borrowed time and land. The landlord can come at any time to chase us out of the land. However, those who auctioned out the country cannot be affected. They’ve created a small boat from the disintegrating ship called Nigeria for their own escape. It was you that refused to vote/sell your vote that will suffer for it.

You should now know that you’re not a citizen of Nigeria, you’re a Nigeria-born Chinese. Your country is not Nigeria. It is the People’s Republic of China, Phase Two. Phase One is in Asia. Phase Two is in Africa. Leave the flag or coat of arms alone, ko matter. You’re about to be colonized for the second time. This time, it’s not by force or violence. It’s a voluntary action.

The leaders whom you voted for with your two eyes open like a halogen lamp and your two legs on top of each other to the polling booth on election day are the ones who have sold you to the Chinese via their love for loans with stringent conditions. I’m sure the N2k and cups of rice you sold your vote for hasn’t finished. Well, the Chinese are almost here. Brace up because e don happen.

Now that you’ve understood that you’re a Chinese, the next step is to start learning the Chinese language. I recommend Mandarin. You can’t be speaking Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo, or English to Lee Ming Hoo, Cho Zing, or Gu Jun Yii in the new country. Don’t take this lightly. They’re about to borrow Nigeria off the map of Africa. Even the Chinese are surprised, e no concern them. We’re the giant of Africa in borrowing. On top of borrowing from them, our leaders still import Chinese manpower to get the job — they borrowed for — done in Nigeria. Our education is too full of dignity and this administration has provided excess employment that it’s needful to concede those meager jobs to the Chinese. 

It’s inhumane to speak against this borrowing habit. All of us can see the great effect it has had/been having on our populace. Also, there’s nothing bad in this habit seeing how prudent we’ve been with spending in this administration. More Nigerians have been lifted out of poverty, except that it’s mostly from poverty to the grave. Nigerians have never been so secure like now so much that they sleep with one eye open. After all, all borrowings are on behalf of the federal government. Chai. Our future generations will be so busy with paying the debt ehn.

Unfortunately, we still have three bus stops to go before we alight from this next level bus. I hope that when we reach the final bus stop in 2023, we’ll still have a country to call our own. Start looking up for Chinese names. You’ll need a new name when the landlord comes like a thief at night. You brought this upon yourself. You can call me Li Chu Cheng.

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