Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

The T.A. Report

We want our own constituency at NASS — internet users tell INEC

Given the results of various polls conducted on the internet in the buildup to the general elections, many Nigerians had expected Sowore, Moghalu, or Atiku Abubalar to be declared winner. A new study has, however, revealed that social media has not fully penetrated the Northern region, especially the 3 K’s of Kano, Kaduna, and Katsina. The study also found that internet users in the South are 72 percent more likely to spend their day trolling, mailing subs, or watching Game of Thrones, than voting for their preferred candidates.

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Eye of the Earth

Fake news is good for the brain — study shows

“Fake news is like breast milk. When you lack adequate measure of it, you may not be able to think for yourself but live on the precepts of daily newspapers who tell you what is not when you can think for yourself. You should always recourse to the philosophical proposition of the great René Descartes ‘corgito ergo sum’ translated in English as ‘I think, therefore I am’. It is worthy to note that it is ‘I’ not ‘they’ or ‘the newspapers’,” he
concluded.

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The T.A. Report

Smaller parties ask INEC to share void votes equally among them

“Nigerians do not recognise the importance of our parties. They are saying on Twitter that we should be checking our results through JAMB scratch cards. Don’t they know that smaller parties are needed in a democracy to make things lively? Besides, how can Nigerians get the coveted title of ‘former presidential/senatorial candidate’ if there are only two parties? Don’t they know that these parties are like universities, while we are the polytechnics and colleges of education?”

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The T.A. Report

Nigeria’s potholes experience calculated massacre as election season approaches

Though the rising level of infrastructural development or seeming development is a national phenomenon, The T.A. Report gathers that Lagos State is an exception. It is reported that capital-intensive projects in the Centre of Excellence currently suffer unusual neglect as the governor, Akinwunmi Ambode, has abandoned office for a more pragmatic role of “APC campaign rally strategist and bench-warmer”.

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