Currently, many Nigerians are looming. In fact, most of the WhatsApp TV channels I follow are enthusiastically encouraging Nigerians to loom. All over the Nigerian social media space, some influential folks are telling those who eagerly listen to them to loom so that they can bloom. Why should we blame them for promoting Loom? After all, the handlers of those pages and channels and those influential folks themselves use the money they make from promoting Loom LLC to bloom, and then to loom, too.

However, me, I will not loom, but I will not take my look off Loom. It is the duty of a writer to preach sanity to his folks. Hence, as a financial writer, I have finally decided to talk. And I will do my financial talk in a satirical way for it drives most to the psyche.

Loomers, worry not. Listen to naysayers not. Listen to me instead since I am not one of them. Yes, indeed, of the naysayers I am not, you must know. In fact, I want to plead with you to continue looming — better if it will be harder than how you now loom. Hahaha. Trust me, you have to loom so you can bloom and you don’t have to worry about any doom. Also, you should know that looming is sweeter when not done alone. Hence, add more to your chat-rooms so they too can loom to bloom and get cloomed with boons.

Every one of them will be wise, and none will zoom out of the room since it will never get to any gloom. Also, hey you agents of Loom, do not sloom lest the rooms become tooms. Strongly tell them to continue looming, but can you kindly chip the following financial historical details to them in your rooms?

MMM — Money Man Made (Lost?)

In 2011, Sergei Mavrodi, the most honourable man of Russia, launched MMM Global. Unfortunately, he could not run it on the soil of his land — his home country’s government was informed and conscious of her people’s welfare enough not to yield to his schemes. Therefore, he was left with no choice but shipping it abroad.

Although the business model was not new, it was one of the first of its kind in recent times — at least according to official records.

Eventually, shipping it abroad he did. The business went on to become wildly popular especially in most African countries. Of course, our dear country, Nigeria, was one of them. Promoting itself as “a mutual aid fund where ordinary people help each other,” MMM Global officially started its Nigerian operations in November 2015 and by 2016, more than 2 million of our countrymen had registered. By January 2017, however, MMM was already struggling to breathe. Eventually, it died.

So, what led to the demise of MMM? The answer is in finance. MMM was a Ponzi scheme. And Ponzi schemes operate on a system that fuses outrageous monetary promises and pyramid-style investing.

In brief, the Ponzi scheme, together with its kin, the pyramid scheme, is a fraud. It seeks to generate no value to its subscribers. Hence, it is not investing in the real sense of the term. When you “invest” in Ponzi schemes, your money is not used to do anything. Instead, it is paid to another investor. It goes on and on like that. And that is exactly why Ponzi schemes always bottom out when there are no new investors to pay. That, usually, often marks their doom.

Sorry For The Digression, Agents of Loom

Leave Loom not, Agents. Borrow nothing from events of the past. Yes, I agree, to some extent, your falling prey to obscure investment schemes is not your fault. “Poor souls are desperate souls.” Isn’t that what we hear? “Unemployed men are ever eager.” Isn’t that what we know? Add to those the fact that your government does not care about you for all it cares. At ordinary oversight and regulatory roles it miserably fails.

So, keep looming, agents of Loom. And trust me, no one will run mad in any of your rooms.

For Loom will continue to bloom — at least until it gets to its doom.