Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

May Nigeria never happen to you

Wait for it: If Nigeria should happen to you, your father would keep visiting the United States of America for the slightest headache, but he will emphasise that irrespective of how ill you are you must not go beyond the United States of Abule-Egba in the search for a cure to your ailment — in order to save some token for national development and increase the rate of underdevelopment in the country.

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From Our Allies

Femi Kuti and Timi Dakolo: Facing mutant truths under muted lights | Oluseyi Olufemi

Pastor Matthew, the tithe collector from England, came out to recklessly decree that this God-given honour in every girl child and grown woman should be defiled with ecclesiastical impunity by the pastor of KOSA in Abuja, because he was “called, committed, consecrated and covenanted by God” to rape and ruin the lives of Nigerian women.

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From Our Allies

How many dollars per barrel is Qasem Soleimani worth?

I see how the White House, from the Secretary of States to the Defense Secretary, is trying so hard, interview after interview, to justify the assault on Iraq’s sovereignty and the assassination of Soleimani. It’s pitiful how much of a terrible job they are doing. For the first time since Trump became POTUS, this is the most selfless decision he has made, causing such a surge in oil prices, leaving every member of OPEC pleased and richer than the night before, this is an angle the White House should explore in defending the president’s action.

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From Our Allies

I bet you won’t impeach me if I start a war!

It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing one of Iran’s most senior army officials, Quassim Solammin.

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From Our Allies

Secrets behind Major General Buhari’s ruthlessness | Tunde Odesola

I didn’t forget that this incorruptible major-general is for everybody and for nobody. This is why he could proudly identify with his children’s numerous foreign certificates, but not with their tuitions. This is natural; honest major-generals don’t like stains on their starched khakis. They won’t look kindly at you if you blow the kakaki when you see their long, lean hands in the hot pot of soup and the palm oil tell-tale on their bony lips. Abeg, don’t ask me where the money could have come from; manna still falls in the Katsina desert, you unbeliever!

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