Guest writer

Break-ups can be harsh, painful and can make life suck a whole lot. Yet, people don’t talk about how hard it is for heterosexual men to deal with heartbreaks. Here is the talk: Heterosexual men, you don’t have to wallow in misery. Recovery is a shining sun; all you have to do is pull the curtains.

Amidst the gathering political storm towards the 2023 general elections, a presidential aspirant whose name I shall not reveal for fear of elimination has visited the president of this country to receive his blessing and sail ahead in his ambition.

Have you said a new year testimony in your church yet? If no is the answer, then you aren’t doing well at all. You are making it look as though the God of your church is not good enough to be testified of. I therefore implore you to do so as quick as possible as I’ll be writing for you a close to perfect guideline. You should testify.

There are several ways that a man can prove himself useless. He can love Nicki Minaj, think pink is cute, enjoy k-drama, love cooking or (this disgusts me to even mention) be capable of tears. God forbid that you ever get entangled with a man who is capable of tears. The men in the above list are useless but the most useless of them all should be a man with female children. Weak men with weak spermicide who marry women with weak eggs to birth a weak shame. Tueh! I spit on them.

I have never been as proud of my country as I am these days. This country just makes my heart puff with pride every bloody time. You know, when religious people say, “actions are judged according to intentions,” I did not know it affected the judicial system too.

I am a 27-year-old businessman with a total net worth the average yahoo boy would blow without flinching, yet I believe I can hit the $1trillion mark before Elon Musk. You can call it wishful thinking but I call it Thinking Big — exactly what Governor Obiano should be doing with his political career.

You don’t smoke. You don’t talk dirty. You no dey follow yansh. You no dey tear ticket – no, reason am. Na life be this? You see it too, you know it. You are a pretender.

It’s been one year and one month since your last public rebuttal of the fabricated reportage of the October 20 2020 shooting at the Lekki toll-gate. And you were right, my dear countryman. No one was killed on that colourful night.

As Lagos State Panel of Inquiry, wey Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu set up, don release report wey dey confirm say Lekki Massacre be real tin, I don quickly code the wahala dis pipu don box inside carton. You be realist and patriot, you no see any dead bodi, so e be your right to deny anytin and everytin.

It pays to have visionary person as a leader. It really does. Of course that is one of the qualities of leadership. One cannot assume an office with blurry sight, else such will mislead the mass. There are states with blind leaders but such is not the case of Akwa Ibom. We have a leader with foresight.