The Antericans
“Where are these fucking men in ghost-white lab coats?” the king’s TV presenter voice boomed, disturbing the specialists working hard to find the cure to a novel virus. The king wasn’t smart, but he was the king anyway, so they left their work, and formed a semi-circle in front of him. “Took you long enough,” he said in that voice that hurt the ear.
The Nigerian dream
If you intend to have one child, I am sorry to announce that you are falling short of the Nigerian dream. Or tell me, who are you planning to emulate in your family? Now, change that orientation, you must have at least three children: Doctor, Engineer and Lawyer. The advantages of having more than three far outweigh having less. SARS might kill one or two for dressing too fine in Lagos, remember? Kidnappers might abduct and kill one or two if they are in the north. And there’s the killer herdsmen, Boko Haram terrorists, and so on.
There are no youth like my country’s youth
I trust Nigerian youth. They understand that there is no way the kingdom of God will suffer violence and earth will be left out of the play. Who has the time to compose “take him out of the office” nonsense… when we have an endless number of songs composed by angry and faceless composers. Where is “We no go gree o, we no go gree!” or “Bubu, ole, Sarak ole!”?
Atiku applies to US for Nigerian birth certificate
Alabere Williams, a US-based Nigerian neurosurgeon, explained that the behavioural patterns of Atiku are suggestive of a condition known as paranoid schizophrenia. “The man seems to see the United States as some sort of father or god figure whom he runs to whenever he’s in trouble, and the delusion is getting worse by the day,” he said with a concerned look.
