Death Archives | Punocracy

When COVID-19 stepped on the much-chronicled city of Kano, inhabitants treated it like any other Chinese export or visitor. A troupe of traditional singers and dancers was sent to welcome it amidst jubilation and fanfare. No kobo was spent from the state’s coffers; they have Gandollar’s dollars to thank for that. A novelty football game tagged “Corona Match” was held in honour of the guest of honour. There, Social-Distancing and Stay-Home orders were defiled before, during, and after the game.

Lamentations of an Egbere

Good lawd, how should we mourn our leaders?

April 23, 2020April 23, 2020

by Godswill Gwanzwang Elisha

The Holy Book, The Glorious Book and the divine inscriptions indelibly etched in the minds of our elders have unanimously called us to mourn the dead alongside their families and to give them befitting burials. But what if the said leader is a Nigerian (leader)? – A name more corrupt than corruption itself. How should we mourn them?

The Inspector

How to die well in Nigeria

April 19, 2020April 19, 2020

by Bankole Wright

To die well in Nigeria, you need to have lived an infamous life. And, to achieve this, first be a politician or hold a public office. Do not be a public or civil servant as the office may imply but endeavour to rule rather than serve. For rulership is for the strong, while service is for the weak and gullible. Make sure abuse sets in, trample on the poor, and lie to them.

From Our Allies

Sister Priye

December 20, 2019December 20, 2019

by Guest writer

When they come in their numbers
to offer condolences over the death of your child, you must simply tell them that it is the will of God.

From Our Allies

With all the condolence letters, none was sent to Mr Democracy’s family

December 12, 2019December 12, 2019

by Guest writer

When we retrieved the autopsy of Democracy, we found out he was poisoned to death by tyranny. Ah! Tyranny! Tyranny that killed Democracy’s uncle, sisters and in-laws in Cameron, Zimbabwe, Tigo, Uganda and the likes. We have to ask Dr Buhari — the epitome of no-nonsense that he is — how the poison was smuggled into Democracy’s room at the hospital. There’s no way we will not investigate Dr Buhari, he must know one or many things about this issue.

From Our Allies

Should corrupt Nigerian leaders be publicly executed?│Tunde Odesola

February 3, 2019August 19, 2019

by Guest writer

Passengers bolted after the bus like male monkeys on heat chasing after females to unleash testosterone. Some passengers dived in through the door, some jumped in through the window, some got in through the driver’s doorless compartment; gaining entry into the ‘Molue’ is much more difficult than the Power Holding Company of Nigeria providing electricity for 30 minutes nonstop.