… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
Brandish your new identity as a politician. It explains the source of your wealth. It qualifies you for chieftaincy titles and juicy political appointments. Should those untrustworthy policemen betray you and kidnap you, your boyz and big boyz will alert your friends in the army who will annihilate the Police Kidnap Squad.
We never saw this coming. You know this has never happened until days ago. No Nigerian has ever been beaten, molested or robbed in SA — this is the first time. That’s why we are slow at reacting. All those former news we heard of the inhumane acts towards you in SA is mere talk. It wasn’t real, that’s why it’s taken us so long.
And then, they get down to the real work of pressing ‘lapi’ all night. Prapapapa papapa. No stopping. Thanks to the seemingly strong internet connectivity our nights afford in Nigeria. These boys don’t just sleep at all; they stay up grinding and hustling hard, with deft fingers. The business is not a walk in the park at all. And that’s what we are talking about — being hard-working without working hard for money. That’s just the Nigerian way.
Nigerians are a humble people, they do not need much proof before they revere you. After all, N2,000 is enough to buy their votes. When you have started the foundation, the media and NGOs would start taking you more seriously. You would be invited to shows, and talks, both locally and internationally. In simple terms, you have blown.
See how all your prayers since 1960 have produced plenty crude oil refinery for the nation, many monumental projects apart from the ones the oyinbos left us with, ASUU has stopped striking like thunder, the number of our of school children has drastically reduced, and we even produce more foodstuff than we can take. See how we export our best hands abroad because of surplus development here, and portable water continues to reach all Nigerians. Sisi mii, aku adura o!
The state’s better run like a business empire. Maybe renaming would do. For leaping productivity. The revolutionising Governor AbdulRahman might have forgotten to reach out to the House. He can visit the dam in the morn, hydro- plants in the noon and see some patients in the hospitals in the evening offering words of encouragement. The documents needing attention on his seats can sleep. The Deputy Governor could attend to them if he’s not attending a party member’s function.
My Lord; Please tell me where to keep your bribe. Do I drop it in your venerable chambers; Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion. Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank; In your well laundered backyard. Or will it breathe better in the septic tank? Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime.
Keep posting things like ’50 people will have N1m before the end of this month. To claim this type amen’. Wait and see the number of amens you will see as comments within an hour. Nigerians, it doesn’t matter the number of times they’ve gone across such post(s), they’ll still comment with amen hoping for a testimony. They love miracles. A Nigerian God blesses people who have faith. He blesses those who don’t work hard.
With the mentioned efficient security measures and others planned but yet to be disclosed ones, she thus assured that “there is no cause to be alarmed; you can sleep soundly in the storm” as she, the master of the storm, is in the ship, they cannot be capsized.
Why will the best brains stay in the country full of opportunities and reward for success… opportunity to be a member of the world poverty capital nation and handsome rewards for undignified labour. Can’t you see how huge the prize and recognition for the best graduating students of our
Universities are? Presentation of a mug, two thousand five hundred naira is a bonafide reason for any reasonable student to face his studies as Baba is facing Nigeria, isn’t it?
