Guest writer

Prior to the time they found a seat in the corridor of power, they understood everything about governance and meeting the needs of people. In fact, they considered the usual fight in the House over who gets what share of the National Cake as demeaning to the entire nation. Therefore, they sold an anti-corruption story to us. We bought it with our sweat. Some did with their blood. But we have not received our change. They said we will receive it. Its fruits will come like a thief in the night. Pending the time, let us enjoy the rice in Kano and the 24h/7 electricity we read about in the news.

First, you must learn to shed tears in your aspiration to be voted into power; buy underprivileged citizens’ sympathy through live telecast. You should learn to have photo ops of you having a great meal of garri, sachet Milo or pap.

You really need to know that facing a panel can be embarrassing and frustrating. Hence, a holistic preparation is a necessity most especially when you are trying to sweep things under the carpet. This is because reporters and rumour-carriers are on the lookout for your poor presentation which might eventually unveil your ass to the world. Follow me on this short trip as I show you how it’s been done here in this place called Nigeria.

Front-line Health Workers: n, 1. People with a special type of face mask, sitting (or standing) in the same position everyday, while giving updates of things going on at the isolation centres. 2. A group of medical personnel treating infected persons for free as part of their service to humanity.