‘How do we survive for four years if we don’t sell our votes?!’
“Take for instance, the last time we had an election. My family was given two bags full of Kuli Kuli and Garri to Vote for Party A. On the election day, party B offered us a cylinder full of groundnut and some bags of Garri. That is what we have been eating for the past 4 years. And it only finished just yesterday, this yesterday”.
Should corrupt Nigerian leaders be publicly executed?│Tunde Odesola
Passengers bolted after the bus like male monkeys on heat chasing after females to unleash testosterone. Some passengers dived in through the door, some jumped in through the window, some got in through the driver’s doorless compartment; gaining entry into the ‘Molue’ is much more difficult than the Power Holding Company of Nigeria providing electricity for 30 minutes nonstop.
THROWBACK: How to celebrate in dependence│Elnathan John
My dear, I think we should begin by thanking the United Kingdom. For keeping you safe. For helping you recover. For always being there when you need a doctor, a hospital, when you needed some rest, when you needed to park a plane and when nosy Nigerians decided it was their business what exactly you were spending money treating.
How Fayemi outbid Fayose at Ekiti stock exchange │Tunde Odesola
This brilliant piece of satire first appeared in The Punch Newspaper, on 16 July 2018. Scene I It’s the zero hour. Nobody slept all night. Everything is set for the…
Obama for Local Government Chairman │Pius Adesanmi
This is an extract from Naija No Dey Carry Last, a book by Nigeria’s ‘King of Satire’ Pius Adesanmi, first published here by Premium Times. The book was published in…
A conversation with my mechanic who wants to be president │Reuben Abati
This is an extract from a longer piece published by The Cable and titled, “2019: Nigeria’s Emerging Political Leaders“. Reuben Abati is a columnist and former Special Adviser on Media and…
Dauda the sexy Prof drowns in Ife waterloo │Tunde Odesola
(Chanting of anthem) Great Ife! Great Ife Africa’s most beautiful campus Conscious, vigilant, progressive Aluta against all oppression… Another great Ife is a counterfeit…” Student leader: Ever articulate gbagba!…
“If Buhari wins the 2019 election …”│Soogun Omoniyi
We found this lovely satirical prophesy by an amazing knitter of words, Soogun Omoniyi, and knew right away you would love it too. It is a brilliant forecast of the events…
Na small mess I mess│Jude Idada
This amusing story about Constituted Authority and the antics of Nigerian Police was shared on Facebook by Jude Idada. Enjoy! The well dressed middle aged lady ran amok. In…
Do not urinate here ― short play by Pius Adesanmi
Nigeria’s well-acclaimed King of Satire shared this on his wall on December 18, 2014. Enjoy! A Naija policeman arrests a man urinating at a place clearly marked “do not urinate here”….
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