… where sa-tyres never go flat


We have returned your girls, return our father

We have returned your girls, return our father

Aa sun moju n’ile wa l’ana, ibere ofofo nu o – we didn’t sleep well overnight at our house, that is the beginning of gossip. Beeni, and we did not sleep well overnight in this Nigeria.

The bulk of youths we are producing these days ehn, k’eledua s’aanu – God should help. When Yobe (Dapchi) and Benue states were attacked, they were quick to run their mouth afoul with my President, Muhammadu Buhari, eeyan – friend of – Penkelemesi Alayabioke. They said my President should not have gone to Kano for Owambe, eewo – abomination! Is the President supposed to jump inside Khaki and run after these insurgents? Ehn? You people better warn yourself o.

When one of you who has seen the light and thus works for my President, Lauretta Onochie, mentioned on Twitter that the President is an adult, he decides where he goes, all of you were running your mouth and fingers, spitting fake fire that cannot boil ordinary water, tueh! It is our water that will cook your fish last last.  My President had a plan, and the plan has worked. Are the kidnapped Dapchi girls not free today?

As if the noise is not enough, some of the nonsense social media referees among you are shouting foul play. Foul play ko chicken run ni. K’aro aso m’odi, k’arodi m’aso, s’ebi k’idi saa ma ti gbo fifo – we should tie wrapper to the waist, or tie waist to wrapper, the important thing is that the waist should not be naked. If the soldiers went to Sambisa to bring back our girls, or our Dapchi girls, after preaching the goodness of Buhari to Boko Haram terrorists were returned by the same people that kidnapped them, the important thing is that our girls have returned. Although it is sad that not all of them came back, but is half bread not better than garri?

Now, the bunch of you jobless youths, always looking for faults where there is none, always pointing fingers to Olorioko Bambam, the General turned President, will you keep quiet? Will you stop complaining about recession and corruption and face your occupation? Will you not focus on sending your CV to one of our agencies to find work?

As the Latin people of old would say, life is ‘quid pro quo’, that is to say, something for something. We have given you your girls o, give us your vote in 2019. We have returned your girls, return our father to office in 2019.

Have I not said it well?

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