9 April 2017

The University of Ibadan, through the office of the Vice Chancellor, has voiced surprise at being ranked first by Webometrics in its first tertiary institution ranking for 2017. The Media Assistant to the V.C, Mr Sunday Saanu, while speaking to journalists on Saturday said it has come as a rude shock and that the university is considering a court action against the research group for the perceived blunder.

“Since the ranking was released in January, we have not had a second of rest. Our ICT experts have been running helter-skelter to see if there is any modicum of truth to this claim; but they have found none whatsoever. We have also been trying to see if a handshake has somehow travelled beyond the elbow somewhere,” he said.

“We find it difficult to understand why a so-called globally renowned research group would fabricate facts just so they may fit into general impression. And, as our school is one which stands firmly first for character before learning, we have instructed our legal team to look into the possibility of suing the body. We cannot afford to sacrifice integrity on the altar of cheap popularity.”

To buttress his statements, he reminded the reporters of a recent post by Pius Adesanmi, a Professor of Literature and African Studies at Carleton University, Canada, where he was quite critical of the university’s website.

“We shouldn’t forget so quickly what Professor Adesanmi wrote last month about the system. I agree with him completely that our website is a tragic tale of broken links, non-existent URLs and other assorted evidence of 17th-century evidence. Ladies and gentlemen, let us not deceive ourselves; we cannot possibly top that ranking. No,” he said emphatically.

“This is not to say we are being lax about ICT. Not at all. The thing is this university works strictly with plans. We follow blueprints which we renew every five years. The one in operation presently is from 2015 to 2020, and there is nothing there about the website. It must have been an omission, but we promise to look into it come 2020,” he added.

It will be recalled that, in January, Webometrics released its first edition of the top 100 universities and polytechnics in Nigeria for 2017. The ranking, which provides indicators for more than 12,000 universities in the world, is based on university visibility, web access and web presence through domain, sub-pages, rich files and published scholarly articles.

 


Caveat: This piece is a fictional satire aimed purely at humour. The words above are nothing but products of a drunk writer’s imagination. We hereby refuse to accept responsibility for the results of any person’s credulity or mischief. Please, do not take us serious. Yet again, maybe you should do just that.