06 February 2018

Founder of The TA Report, an independent Satirical Column at the University of Ibadan, Tubosun Ajanaku, has confirmed the completion of his programme at the University of Ibadan. He wrote his final paper, GES 401, on Monday afternoon and was seen immediately after among his colleagues at the Department of Theatre Arts engaging in the traditional sign out ritual.

In a Facebook post, Ajanaku wrote about the challenges he faced at the University of Ibadan, his nomination as the entertainer of the year and what the fate of his column is now that he is graduating.

“It has not been easy at all. To spend four years at the University of Ibadan, as they say, is not beans. It has been four years of mosquitoes and malaria, four years of light and darkness, four years of study and strike, four years of (student-)unionfulness and unionlessness. Some have even suggested that I am an unserious student and should be expelled or given an SDC letter, but today they have been put to shame,” he wrote.

“I want to thank the organisers of Emigro for nominating me as the Finalist-Entertainer of the Year. I do not know what they mean by this though. I was expecting to get nominated as Most Handsome or Take Home to Papa of the year, but I am grateful all the same. I urge all my fans to vote for me that I may clinch this award.

In the same post, he said he plans to open a new blog for his column, which will be taking on a national scope soon. He also used the opportunity to thank various individuals at the University.

“Now that I am finally graduating, I will no longer be reporting news from the University of Ibadan. I want to upgrade to the national scene. President Donald Trump has described us a shithole country, and with my big glasses, I want to observe how deep exactly this hole is. I hope to open a blog for this soon, so watch out. Well, I guess this is a potential move from SDC to SSS, but if nobody takes on the big guys, who will?

“I would like to thank my girlfriend, Monisola, for her backing and support. When everyone called me a madman, comedian and liar, she stood by me. I thank all my fathers and mothers at the University of Ibadan, and our dear Vice Chancellor for constantly feeding my muses with groundnuts of ideas. I am grateful sir, and I sincerely wish you all the best in the years that remain for you at the Tamuno Building. I thank especially all my imaginary staff at The TA Report – the graphic designer, the editor, the correspondents and the generator man.

“My appreciation also goes to all students of the University of Ibadan, especially those who read and share our news reports. The Column is nothing without you. May your journeys be laced with challenges and crowned with success. Thank you, University of Ibadan!”

 

 


Caveat: This piece is not a purely fictional satire aimed purely at humour.