Punocracy

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‘Don’t blame me so much’ — WAEC’s secret diary entry

by Ayomide Abiodun Amubikaun

In the last few weeks, slanders have been hurled at me. I released the results of 1,969,313 candidates, and only 753,642 (38.32%) obtained credits and above in at least five compulsory subjects, including Mathematics and English Language. Shouldn’t I be commended for this amazing feat? It might be lower than last year’s figures, but to me, it is progress. Our efficient systems are only providing evidence for what we already instinctively know: the children are getting dumber.

FEAST
From Our Allies

Becoming a campus journalist in Nigeria: A satirical guide

by Guest writer

Like the strong-willed patriotic Nigerian that you are, you do not want to lose out on all. You look for ways to impact on campus and thicken your skillset and your professional experience. You have got to thicken your CV for recruiters and employers who require a five-year experience for the job you hope to apply for as a fresh graduate. Trust me, I come with the perfect panacea: be a campus journalist and shoot into limelight.

FEAST
From Our Allies

Where are Nigeria’s best brains?

by Guest writer

Why will the best brains stay in the country full of opportunities and reward for success… opportunity to be a member of the world poverty capital nation and handsome rewards for undignified labour. Can’t you see how huge the prize and recognition for the best graduating students of our
Universities are? Presentation of a mug, two thousand five hundred naira is a bonafide reason for any reasonable student to face his studies as Baba is facing Nigeria, isn’t it?

FEAST

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