4 April 2017

In what appears to be her first official pronouncement, University of Ibadan’s DVC for Research, Innovation and Strategic Planning (RISP), Professor Adenike Adeyemo, has said students and lecturers may now write on the electronic, interactive whiteboards using temporary markers. She said this yesterday, 3 April 2017, at the university’s Administrative Building during a press conference.

According to her, the objects, which were donated to the institution years ago and which are available in most lecture rooms, have been lying fallow and “this has to stop.”

“You see, as the Deputy Vice Chancellor in charge of strategic planning, I have to see to the maximum use of resources within the university. And after an intensive brainstorming session with my aides, we decided that it is high time we put these boards to good use,” she said.

“It may be said that ‘but why can’t we use them to serve the purpose for which they were built.’ Well, it is no news that power supply is not that stable on campus, and this is a mighty mighty hindrance. But above all, the technology is too advanced for a university like UI. I have seen it used in Harvard and it was like voodoo. I’m telling you, our lecturers are not ready. Besides, our students who are used to getting dictated notes may not even understand well enough by the time we start using the board normally.”

Professor Adenike, whose position was formally named DVC RIP until the ominous import (i.e. Rest in Peace) was pointed out, said the only solution is to improvise.

In her words, “Lecturers have been coming to us to complain that they have nowhere to write key points in class. So, for us, this is the only solution. University of Ibadan has constantly been the best in Nigeria, and this is for no other reason than our creativity and optimum use of scarce resources.”

“We have just set up a committee to also look into the case of air conditioners which are not being used. We have no doubt that, very soon, some good use will be found for them as well,” she added.

It will be recalled that the university Senate, during its sitting on 8 March 2017, had elected Professors Adeyinka Aderinto and Adenike Adeyemo as the Deputy Vice Chancellor, Academic and Deputy Vice Chancellor, Research, Innovation and Strategic Partnership respectively. The T.A. Report wishes them all the best in their official endeavours.

 


Caveat: This piece is a semi-fictional satire aimed purely at humour. It should be believed (totally) only at reader’s risk. The T.A. report hereby refuses to accept responsibility for the results of any person’s credulity or mischief.