How to be relevant in Nigeria
You see when you are doing well to the country, Nigerians will not be happy with you. If there’s adequate security and abundance of food, Nigerians will not acknowledge you. The best way you can be relevant in Nigeria is to have shortcomings in your duties as the President. Make sure there’s no adequate security even when you promise exactly that. Make sure the price of petrol increases drastically even when you promise a tremendous reduction.
Open letter to Mr. President: Let’s talk about the Muhammadu Buhari University
By: Abdurrahman Bello ONIFADE Dearest Mr. President, I am just happy writing to you. I can’t explain but I know even my happiness is happy too. Nigeria is blessed to…
A Nigerian guide to becoming influential: The Invictus Obi starter pack
Nigerians are a humble people, they do not need much proof before they revere you. After all, N2,000 is enough to buy their votes. When you have started the foundation, the media and NGOs would start taking you more seriously. You would be invited to shows, and talks, both locally and internationally. In simple terms, you have blown.
Mediocrity is praying
See how all your prayers since 1960 have produced plenty crude oil refinery for the nation, many monumental projects apart from the ones the oyinbos left us with, ASUU has stopped striking like thunder, the number of our of school children has drastically reduced, and we even produce more foodstuff than we can take. See how we export our best hands abroad because of surplus development here, and portable water continues to reach all Nigerians. Sisi mii, aku adura o!
Menascum: The definitive guide to dealing with Mr No-Goods
By: Anifowoshe Ibrahim In my first year in the university, I lived with weed smokers. It was a room of Royal Highnesses with the smoke constantly floating miasma-like. Every day,…
Members of ASUU on strike over concern for students
By: Hamzat Mariam Following recent reports of members of the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) embarking on a nationwide strike, our correspondent, Kenny Olunloyo, who couldn’t help but take…
Old things shall pass away…
The state’s better run like a business empire. Maybe renaming would do. For leaping productivity. The revolutionising Governor AbdulRahman might have forgotten to reach out to the House. He can visit the dam in the morn, hydro- plants in the noon and see some patients in the hospitals in the evening offering words of encouragement. The documents needing attention on his seats can sleep. The Deputy Governor could attend to them if he’s not attending a party member’s function.
My Lord, tell me where to keep your bribe│Niyi Osundare
My Lord; Please tell me where to keep your bribe. Do I drop it in your venerable chambers; Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion. Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank; In your well laundered backyard. Or will it breathe better in the septic tank? Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime.
Becoming a rich Nigerian graduate
Keep posting things like ’50 people will have N1m before the end of this month. To claim this type amen’. Wait and see the number of amens you will see as comments within an hour. Nigerians, it doesn’t matter the number of times they’ve gone across such post(s), they’ll still comment with amen hoping for a testimony. They love miracles. A Nigerian God blesses people who have faith. He blesses those who don’t work hard.
Let the good works continue
Though it might look like our people are poor, internally, they have peace of mind and find their ways through their daily struggle for existence. This struggle does not in any way mean suffering. They just make sure they give the last drop of their sweat to make ends meet. This is what we encourage, hard work!