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We should all be Buharists

We should all be Buharists

By: Faridat Musa

Buharism: The socio-political and economic ideology of Nigerian President and former military head of state, Muhammadu Buhari.

We, Buharists, are the most misunderstood people on earth.

Our religion is focused on ensuring multi-sectorial failure, war against progressive economic policies, cattle and nomadic affairs, and entertaining insecurity and terrorist integration. These are the agenda Buhari has dedicated the last six years to achieving. It is the first time a sitting president will centre these four major areas of concern.

We strive to emulate the actions of our supreme leader’s companions and the inactions of our leader to a faultless precision. That is the only way to be an exemplary follower of the movement. To be a Buharist is to always choose mediocrity, defend this mediocrity, and revel in it even when it threatens your own life. 

No sort of criticism is tolerated by us. I particularly approve of the detainment of ill-wishers of this administration. This was the end-game for those zealous anti-SARS protesters. Buhari halted their plans quickly, you should do the same too.

When well-researched evidence is presented before you, implicating Buhari in murder crimes he was complicit in, you must deny it. Even when it appears seemingly undeniable, deny it still. As an addition, tell them it is a mere figment of their imagination. Case in point, Lekki massacre.

Our power begins where that of the DSS ends; we scavenge for anti-buharists online and on-site and deal with them. We are crass and vicious people and proudly so. Anyone who is openly critical of Buhari is for unconstitutional removal of our lord and saviour. Can you now see how this is a personal attack?

You must not permit anyone to make you feel like Buhari has not done enough for Nigeria. From whatever direction they come at you, hit them with the best counter you have. Buhari is the best thing to ever happen to Nigeria as an entity and Nigerians as a people.

Buhari may not have created 5,000,000 jobs but his socialist schemes are enough to go round. If anyone disagrees, count the schemes and name them moni by moni. If they fail to see how this empowers citizens, then that is a result of their deficiency in basic economics. Should you educate them? You can try.

His anti–corruption agenda has shown impressive results. He tackles corruption head-on, not poverty, no substandard education and healthcare, but corruption. This is because corruption is the root of all evil. Today, thanks to this approach, Nigeria no longer ranks 44th on the Corruption Perception Index list. We have finally made it to Top 35. As he enforces this agenda, he allows his people a share of the national cake; he is fighting corruption, not them.

Change is constant but ours is rooted in stagnation; we grow by promoting regression. As part of outdated plans to revamp the economy and encourage patronage of local brands, Buhari closed our international borders in 2019. This evidence-based decision may be one of the best actions our government has taken. China attempted that in the late 90s, now look where they are today. When our international borders were shut, remember how well we flourished? Now he has moved onto greater concerns like building rice pyramids in 2022.

The next card they usually pull is Boko Haram and rising insecurity. And that has no bearing with The General; the instability is fuelled by some political actors to create distrust in our minds. Can’t you see how he pampers the terrorists?

He showers them with attention, newly sewn attire, and a welcoming party. It does not matter the number of people you have killed, raped, and displaced. Come to Buhari, he always has a Sheda for you and his tailor never disappoints. The rationale is, an appeased group of terrorists paves way to safer communities. Is that not good old wisdom?

If they remind you that the naira-dollar exchange rate which was 150 naira when our leader assumed office has now risen to nearly 500 despite his promise of returning it to $1-₦1 exchange rate, remind them that Buhari was military president at a time when a naira was exchanging for $2. He knows what he is doing, it is not just obvious to the loathing eyes yet. He will deliver on that promise soon. In the likely event that dream fails to materialize, never forget that PDP did worse. 

Any other ailing sector they mention, remind them that Buhari has provided infrastructure. If they say public schools and hospitals are in dilapidated states, tell them Buhari built railway from Lagos to Ibadan. If they say doctors and lecturers are perpetually embarking on strike, tell them he built a railway from Abuja to Kaduna. If they say the inflation rate is skyrocketing, tell them he is planning to gift us the 2nd Niger Bridge. If they tell you that federal highways are death traps, tell them he is currently seeking loans to connect Nigeria to Niger Republic by railway.

A time will arrive when people will tell you you are too much. You must embrace this excessiveness and own it. They say to us buharists, you can be loyal but not too much. You can defend him but not to the point of stupidity. But I say to you, all these are tools of censorship. We are a people without limit and shame. 

You are a victim, not of our leader’s ineptitude, but of people’s criticism of him. That is your motivation to denounce everyday Nigerian problems viciously with false comparisons. Jesus and his disciples were persecuted unjustly based on malicious lies and betrayal. If you cannot see any correlation yet, take your time to reflect deeply.

When public persecution prompts you to draw parallels and perceive some logic in what they say. You will contemplate not outsourcing your thoughts to Buhari’s flock and utilizing your brain for once. But stay firm! BMC, Pọnmọ boys, or whatever they call us shall not faze you.

(No part of this work is fictitious. It is all based on interactions with Buharists and direct inferences from those discussions.)

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