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#NigeriaDecides2019: Why you need to sell your votes

#NigeriaDecides2019: Why you need to sell your votes

Election days are special days. And special days often come with special offers and surprises. One of such offers which politicians and voters alike are carefully awaiting to give — and take — is vote buying.

Take a breather. I’m aware, as written in the section 124 of the Electoral Act, sellers and buyers of votes are liable, on conviction, to a maximum fine of N500, 000 or 12 months imprisonment,  or both. But then do you think that that Electoral Act is still to be followed? After all, the president doesn’t even seem to believe in it. Don’t take my word for that. I’m just saying.

After wide consultation and far reaching assessment, here are some of the reasons you may want to consider selling — or as the case maybe, buying — of votes.

First, every 4 year term of a Nigerian politician is a contract. And because study has shown that the surest time to see such politician is usually election and campaign periods, the dividend of such contract can be reaped only during these periods. Infrastructural improvement is also prime during this period.

So, if nothing is sure after the election and campaign periods, isn’t it a smart thing to get whatever one can get when it is available? In other words, every offer of sales or purchase of an electorate’s vote is an advance payment of a 4 years contract. Make hay while the sun is hot.

Credit: Ibukun Ogunsina

Let’s do some trivial mathematics. 4 years are equivalent of 1460 days. Assuming N200 is all that you get in exchange for your vote, then for 4 years, it means you have an offer of 14K per day. Fair deal, right?

Mind you, if it is N500 you are paid to sell your conscience, then your daily worth is 34K. Isn’t this too a right price to lift you above the pit of your financial crisis?

Meanwhile, were you to sell your vote for N1,000, then after 4 years, your wage on daily basis would have been 68K. Another big price for the wise, uh?

Perhaps, you are lucky. If the offer you get for your PVC is N5,000, the implication of that is that your daily worth is N3. Possibly by then the charge per text message sent would have been reduced to N3 instead of N4 so that it can worth something for you. Try your luck.

Maybe — just maybe — you are not convinced yet that selling your votes means earning big. Or maybe you feel you worth more.

A selling price of N500, 000 amounts to N342 per day for the next 4 years. Although, this is below a dollar per day, and it is given that you are still within the bracket of the impoverished. But I know poverty makes you look good. It saves you from too many demands that come from kith and kin who would always depend on those who have “small change” for the smallest of things. It is in your own interest to remain poor by receiving the buyout.

How much worth do you place on yourself? 14K? Or 34K? Or 68K? Or N3? Or maybe N342? Vote sellers have big self worth: their worth revolves around these ranges.

Again, if you miss out on this free money, with what mouth would you tell your children that you tried to salvage the future for them? I mean, with what face would you look at them in the eyes and say you tried to recover some loot from the politicians who came to the poll with so much to throw around?

In case you don’t know, know that by the time 1000 of you get N5000 each, even though the politician stole N5 billion, at the end of the day you’ve been able to recover N5 million (0.1%) of the loot. Nice return, right?

Perhaps, the 5,000 you got has so much market value that you can feed with it all year long — and still have some savings — I wouldn’t know. Or maybe the economy, under the watch of your looter friend, is so robust that any Nigerian can leave happily by earning 5K in 4 years, I can’t say.

Or maybe the land is so secure that the Nigerian police are complaining of losing their jobs because there are no more criminals to catch. Or maybe Sambisa has become one of the safest place in this slice of the global map. Whichever way it is you don’t have to bother yourself. Get the money first and make these other things secondary. Only the wise would do otherwise.

So, good people, sell your vote, and show the world that you’re not worth more than a few kobo. If you don’t sell it, tell me, what do you gain? Be wise.

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I, Bayode Otitokoro, fell in love with the truth from childhood. My mantra is: in an unjust society silence is a crime. With satire, I will clad my society in the attire of sanity.

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