“I am here to praise Abacha, not besmirch him…”

The late Nigerian Dictator; General Sani Abacha, had incredible foresight sha. Man knew Nigeria would definitely fall on hard times thus his incredible vision to salt a few millions here and there in the abroad for rainy days. But we called him criminal, we did not see the beauty in his desecration… ?

I am not here to besmirch Abacha, I am here to praise him. Yes, you read right, praise him. Abi how many ancestors do you know that keeps sending credit alert from the afterlife?

You thinkabourrit.

In Kofi Awoonor’s Songs of Sorrow, we have the perfect expression of disgust and disappointment at ancestors that don’t know how to answer their descendants’ prayers when he goes thus:

"Agosi if you go tell them,
Tell Nyidevu, Kpeti, and Kove
That they have done us evil;
Tell them their house is falling
And the trees in the fence
Have been eaten by termites;
That the martels curse them.
Ask them why they idle there
While we suffer, and eat sand.
And the crow and the vulture
Hover always above our broken fences
And strangers walk over our portion."

The Nigerian house is falling, but do you see Abacha twiddling his thumbs in the great beyond? No. Man is hustling for the continued existence of his dear Nigeria even in the afterlife, unlike a certain Rihabu who continues to fiddle whilst Nigeria burns ?.

I mean, Just look at Abacha’s workrate na!!!

• $160 million in 2003 from the British Isles;
• another $88 million in 2003 from Switzerland.
• $461 million in 2005 from Switzerland;
• $44 million in 2006 from Switzerland;
• $227 million in 2014 from Liechtenstein;
• $322 million in 2018 from Switzerland;
• $308 million in 2020 from Jersey/USA;
• the currently reported sum of $23m from the USA, and these are just to mention a few ó

Talk of ancestor wey no dey sleep nor slumber!

How many of you did your fathers leave with an inheritance before passing on to the great beyond? Not to now talk of consistent credit alerts even from beyond the veil. ?

There’s a saying among the Yorubas that “igbẹyin bàbà a dá” that is “the Aftermath of a person’s passing will be good” or something like that sha.

You’ll agree with me that the aftermath of Abacha’s passing has been great for Nigeria however you choose to look at it. So when I say I am here to praise Abacha, not besmirch him, even the most cynical amongst you will agree with me that Abacha; for showing the enterprising Nigerian spirit, for hustling even in the afterlife, deserves his flowers.

*eulogises, and sings panegyrics of Abacha’s name till fade*