Kano — Perhaps to shut the moving lips of doubters and members of the opposition party, the governor of Kano state, Abdullahi Ganduje, has revealed how he will deliver 5 million votes from Kano to President Muhammadu Buhari come February 16.

“We have done it before; we will do it again,” his smile was wide and his red cap glowed under the noon sun.

Speaking before a sea of supporters on Sunday, the “governortorial” candidate of Kano APC advised the crowd to handle the words of doubters like a pinch of salt.

“I’m aware there are doubters on how fetching President Muhammadu Buhari 5 million votes is possible. But let me tell you, dear people, impossibility is not in my dictionary.

“Minus our cows, we have the highest human population in Nigeria. No one doubts that. Lagos is only using politics.

“But now, it is time to use our number to our advantage; we will also use politics. The 5 million electorates in Kano this Febuhari (sic) will be all about Buhari,” the governor added to the roar of his large audience.

He paused to allow the noise of “Sai Baba! Sai Buhari! Sai Baba! Sai Buhari!” to die down before he continued.

“Last election we had over a million votes, and almost a million void, you remember? Good. We plan to make the void votes count this time around. Voters lesson has been part of our curriculum from primary to tertiary school, and there are Voters Learning Centres in every locality in Kano. We will improve our real school curriculum later. Election is important at this point.”

Apparently to quickly answer the curious minds, the governor spoke further: “You may be wondering why primary school? Or even secondary school?

“You see, this is where politics comes in. I don’t believe in underage. These are the leaders of tomorrow; why shouldn’t they choose their leaders of today? Does government policies affect only adults? After all, they have PVC too.

“By our permutations, with these plans, we are sure we could boast of 4 million votes. But our target is 5 million. Here is our we would reach that mark:

“We have supporters from Niger Republic. I don’t think anyone doubts this. Issa Moussa of Zinder and Zakiri Umar of Maradi were at our campaign rally on Thursday. They are our very good partners. They will mobilize people for us. Nigeria and Niger there is no much difference. We are brothers. Those are our plans.”

The governor, who is in the eye of public outcry following a leaked video where he was caught pocketing huge bale of money in his agbada which had been sewn to fit the purpose, is, like Buhari, also seeking a second term as the state’s governor.

However, the criminal allegations hasn’t been given a life because “the president doesn’t seem to trust the technology that was used to ‘tame’ the governor.”

But Yesterday’s Today understands that the president’s prosecution of the head of such stronghold, Kano, would mean handing his best ground for large votes to the opposition.

In fact, a source close to the governor told us the governor is not bothered about the outcry as he is sure “no prosecution fashioned against him can prosper”.

“All of them are making noise about Gandollar up and down. I just laugh,” our source said the governor said.

“After 5 million votes, you think the president will have enough balls to probe me? 

“Kai…Wallahi…You don’t prosecute the person that brings you to power. It doesn’t happen anywhere in the world that your reward for helping someone into power is jail. Never.

“This was the same thing that happened between James Ibori and President Musa Yaradua. You don’t probe people that bring you to power. That’s how it works. Mine won’t be the last.”

Truth to his words, this account on James Ibori, former Delta state governor, is well documented in Olusegun Adeniyi’s Power, Politics and Death: A front-row account of Nigeria under the late President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua.

Caveat: This is a work of satire. Names or anything that has semblance with them, persons, wise or otherwise, offices, high or low, authorities, constituted or unconstituted, are as a result mixture of the author’s imagination and inspiration from Above, and any semblance of actual persons, far or near, organizations or body is the handiwork of Mr Coincidence. You have been told. Don’t say we haven’t!