HEARTBEAT OF THE NATION (The T.A. Report) ― A former good-for-nothing devil, fondly known as Ba Sheggy, has become washed of his countless sins after he recently joined the political party of angels, The T.A. Report gathered.
Ba Sheggy, who is the leader of a state notorious for sending sex expatriates to European countries to boost its economy, is seeking re-election in September and concluded that his camp in hell was too hot for his ambitions.
“I used to hate anything godly so much that I secretly christened myself Godloss,” he revealed at a press conference last week. “But now that I have become born-again, I shall be addressed henceforth as Godwin.”
Chairman of the opposition People’s Angelic Party (PAP), Tony Aziegbe, said they are glad to welcome the former devil into their fold because he gives the Kingdom of God a shot at the state’s top political seat.
“To be frank, we misunderstood a lot of the things Ba Sheggy did while he was still a devil,” he told our correspondent.
“We discovered after he joined our party that he actually meant well with many of his policies and has done a terrific job. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, they say, but we got the road signs all wrong. The horned driver was taking us to paradise all this while.”
Aziegbe added that the former devil’s name has been written in the Book of Life since he paid double for the party’s nomination form and had promised to bless stakeholders with juicy positions within the government corridors if re-elected.
Meanwhile, a former PAP member, Mazi Iyamu, who was initially certified to be incapable of doing any wrong has had his certificate revoked after he joined the ruling devils’ party. He is the leading competition for Ba Sheggy in the coming election.
Caveat: Note that this piece is a fictional satire aimed purely at humour. The words above are nothing but products of a drunk writer’s imagination. We hereby refuse to accept responsibility for the results of anyone’s credulity or mischief. Do not take us seriously. We repeat; do not take us serious! … On second thought though, maybe you should do just that.