… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
You must have read D.O. Fagunwa’s account of a confrontation between protagonist Akara-ogun and an egbere – a being of the forest of the spirit-beings – in Ogboju ode ninu igbo irunmale. I’m not asking too much of you, am I? In that classic (that I consider the greatest work of Yoruba fiction), the egbere in responding to a mockery of his moaning lambasted mankind for being the architect of the countless troubles bedevilling the earth. The egbere race having taken to heart the plight of humanity cannot help but to #occupytheforest with their loud moaning and dripping noses. Humans being humans continue to disregard them and subject them to unwarranted mockery and insults. That has not stopped the egbere race from lamenting the tragedy that is human life.
You must also understand the writer. He speaks of peace but his words project as chants of war. He tries not to hurt anyone but you know the truth dey hot somehow somehow. He tries to make you laugh away your being Nigerian but also invites you to put on your thinking cap, rethink and tinker with your thoughts and perspectives. He seeks to make sense, but the issues he writes about can be utterly senseless – as they should not obtain in a sane clime like Nigeria.
In essence, this column is a continuation of the lamentations of the egbere over the tragedy of merely being a Nigerian and a call to think like Akara-ogun did.
From Jalingo, he was transferred to a Specialist Hospital in Gombe where experts waited to remedy his health issue. But first, he had to travel on the infrastructural perfection that is the Jalingo-Numan-Gombe road. The comfort and joy that the bumps, potholes and debris on the elegant road offered him was a taste of what lies beyond this world.
This year’s food production has been the best in our history and is second to no other country of the world. Our barns are not able to contain the fruits of our farmers’ labours. Like that rich man in Jesus’ parable, our minds are set on how to demolish the old barns and build bigger ones. In 2021, we don’t have to bother about farming, we will rather say to our souls: we have acquired this much by our efforts and those of our leaders, therefore our bodies should relax and make merry.
Recent events have shown that beyond being able to survive countless electrocutions caused by happenings in the country, there is more to the man at the helms of the Nigerian State.
Recently, die-hard Buarists have been alarmed by his uncharacteristic silence in respect of the issue of corruption. His disturbing silence has made many to wonder if the man they voted into power with their under-aged children, deceased relatives and cows, not minding the fact that queries were raised over his academic qualification, is still committed to rooting out corruption from the Nigerian DNA.
Nigerian politics is a race into the banquet hall. In there, the biggest attraction is the much storied national cake. One’s ability to loot it well and in a clever manner is considered first before such strengths as: the Nigerian god one’s credo professes belief in, the Nigerian ethnicity that your tribal marks associates you with, the political party in whose jersey you are vying for a slot into the banquet hall and the dog-father cheering you in the dog-race to the banquet hall.
He has the license to do as he pleases without anyone questioning the exercise of his discretions, even in matters that adversely affect the welfare of the people. I hold as an immutable truth that the governor can do no wrong. He is Hail-Rufai, he can choose to enthrone and refuse to enthrone. Who wan try Mai-rusau?
(A parody of the Magnificat) My soul magnifies in Nigerian poli-trick-cians; the best of us – who now double as our saviours. […]
From an economic standpoint, the resources committed to the training of our personnel make it unhealthy and imprudent to send them to early graves without them doing much for a country that has given them more than they expected and needed.
Starting with the ongoing N-Power registration, reliable news outlets have it that over 3 million Nigerians have applied for the scheme within a week. In my considered view, this high number underscores the fact that this regime is doing enough to provide for its unemployed population. This number could have easily been in the range of a figure with two numbers preceding six “zeros” if not for the unprecedented efforts of the committed and fatherly president that we are highly privileged to have.
Nigerians have taken to the media to make jest of the kind gesture of a First Lady who was magnanimous enough to empower the women of her state with a weighty ten bags of pure water each. Why are Nigerians behaving as if they are lacking in the manners and gratitude on social media? What have those ridiculing the first lady done for their village people? In fact, what good has any one in their lineage done for a fellow man?
