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Lamentations of an Egbere

Baba’s anti-corruption noise is no longer against flesh and blood

Baba’s anti-corruption noise is no longer against flesh and blood

Upon the assumption of the office of the President of the Federal Republic, Baba Buari did not hide his disdain for the hydra-headed monster known as corruption. He wasted no time in vowing to slaughter the monster and to bequeath to posterity a beautiful version of the beloved country where they will no longer suffer the many nightmares gingered by corruption.

His preoccupation with the elimination of corruption was so great that every question on any national issue was always answered with rhetoric on the evils of corruption and how it must be given attention above any and every other problem bedevilling the country. His noise about corruption was so great that it deafened two-thirds of the populace. I learnt it may take divine intervention for them to recover from their ear defect.

Not long into what is now known in some quarters as the General’s regime, the rate of sabbaticals to our Custodial Centres increased by 2015%. I need not say that those fortunate to embark on that special treat are those that have drunk from the chalice of power and were able to ward off its intoxicating influence. This charitable act of Baba did not start from yonder. Rather it started from his political camp even though we know that those who whored with corruption are in the other camp. It is kukuma true that judgement go start from the house of God. This has made many to believe that he is not out to witch-hunt a particular group but is determined to wipe out corruption not minding whose ox is gored by his courageous act.

Recently, die-hard Buarists have been alarmed by his uncharacteristic silence in respect of the issue of corruption. His disturbing silence has made many to wonder if the man they voted into power with their under-aged children, deceased relatives and cows, not minding the fact that queries were raised over his academic qualification, is still committed to rooting out corruption from the Nigerian DNA.

It is said that only a fool would repeatedly do a particular act and expect a different result. Baba Buari is no such man of low wit. In fact, he is the height of the best we can ever attain in life. It is only the fear of doing the sacrilegious and blasphemous that is preventing me from declaring that he is God incarnate in Nigerian flesh.

Having discovered that his approach to tackling corruption is not yielding the expected results, there is no denying the fact that he was shocked, greatly. That development made him to leave Hajiya alone in the cold of the other room to work assiduously at the drawing board to figure out where he may have made that slight and negligible mistake in the noise-making against corruption.

It was at the drawing board that he discovered that his tactics were spot on but that he undermined the nature and capabilities of the foe. He thought he was fighting mere flesh and blood like PDP, Atikoo, Boko Haram, kidnappers and bandits. He was mistaken. The war has never been against flesh and blood but an alien foe from a remote part of the endless universe.

After consulting with members of his cabinet and his excellent and proactive service chiefs, it became imperative to face the corruption challenge spiritually. I learnt that sufficient money has been allocated in the 2021 budget to cater for the upkeep of the ministers of religion that will lift Nigeria to God in prayers. Also, the budget has made provision for the importation of rosaries, turare, praying mats, water from River Jordan, stones from Golgotha, mustard seeds and anointing oil. These sacred items shall serve as our weapons against the extra-terrestrial agents of darkness..

I most sincerely thank Buari for daring to change things when he discovered his previous approach was not working. This is something that was missing in the 16 years leadership of PDP. It is that negligence that has led us to where we are now and it will only take prayers and God to save us.

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is a Jalingo-based rookie lawyer. His preoccupation is meeting the needs of his clients. When that gets boring, he unwinds by writing. He is not a writer but on the few occasions that he is, he attempts giving sinews to the bones of his thoughts.

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