All hail Nigeria’s new saviour, Boss Mustapha, who has risen from the dead
Boss Mustapha was blind to the state of the nation’s health system but now he can see. He was dead, but now has arisen. All hail the man, the saviour who at this crucial time has arrived to deliver us from a long-lasting disease, plagued by corruption and bad leadership, insensitivity and negligence.
Dear Republic of China | Fatima Damagum
We know that this infection originated from you people, but we Nigerians, have a forgiving spirit. We forgive you for what you have done to Italy, Spain and France. We even forgive you for what you have done to that country headed by that Blonde man who called us a ’shit hole’ country. We forgive you for all these atrocities because of our long and beautiful relationship. Except for the cancellation of the Premiership league and our yearly Umrah; I am not so pleased with that.
Dr Chris Oyakhilome unveils a new chemical compound
He left academia afterwards to become a churchpreneur, serving the God of Israel. He is a successful businessman with a net worth of $30 to $50 million (2011, Forbes) just by doing God’s work. With his wealth, he has built the most advanced private research facility in the world based in his home country of Nigeria.
Two Nigerian self-taught Nobel laureates you probably didn’t know about
Professor Fẹmi Fani-Kayọde is a self-taught particle physicist and a former Nigerian Aviation Minister. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in physics for his pioneering work on electromagnetic waves in 2019.
Prophet Gates, rape as a weapon and other matters | Tunde Asaju
All over the world, Covid-19 is granting advance tickets to showing the end of all humanity and it looks like nothing envisaged while writing wills. That blockbuster is forcing the wealthy to embrace philanthropy and the poor to seek God early.
The subtle art of begging
The Nigerian Ministry of Finance, being a pace-setter, has taken advantage of the Udemy free online course to earn a certificate in Content-Begging and Fund Solicitation. These are some of top in-demand skills in the world right now.
The masses thank God for Kobik One-Nine
The visitor has proven to be very respectful. Upon arrival, it chose to visit the elite, the movers and shakers of our national life. It is even rumoured that the mischievous fellow visited our real president and not the continental import from that vast savannah of Sudan.
Baba God, we’re grateful coronavirus met us prepared
The power of prayer and gratitude can never be overemphasised, especially in Nigeria. So, Heavenly Father, we bless you for your protection over us, for opening our eyes to institute health facilities in core places prior to this pandemic, for the steps we have taken in combating this corruption-borne virus, for granting us strong immune systems, and for our foresight in writing a letter to the National Assembly about strict compliance to rules. Baba! We’re forever grateful.
May Nigeria never happen to you: The Kopid One-Nine chapter
But the urgency of the matters at hand won’t allow me to dive into how the name ‘Nigeria’ was painfully coined because we are now at that point where we can’t establish who is presiding over the country between President Naira Marley – the ever-active Twitter tormentor, Abba Kyari – the Irunmole that eats kilishi and signs presidential letters, and General Muhammadu Buhari – the ever-smiling gentleman who introduced Kopid One-Nine Pirus without talking.
COVID-19: Nigerians’ refusal to say please, the genesis of Buhari’s silence
The Parosident has refused to speak, unlike his counterparts in many other countries battling the virus because he hates Showoff and cheap politics. If not, what’s the big deal in setting up a press conference and having him read a prepared address to Nigerians? Even if the speech gets mixed up and does not really relate to the issue at hand. It’s not like Nigerians have choices. They can only shout and talk, nothing more.