From Our Allies

Nigerians’ letter to daddy and mummy 

On behalf of every Nigerian, we want to say thank you to our Daddy and Mummy—UK and US—on whose shoulder we will always stand until we’re old enough to be truly independent. It’s not that we’re that reckless to get out acts together, we are just being subservient to our father and mother. Only a bastard child will not heed to his parents’ instructions. Nigeria will never be one.

From Our Allies

A comprehensive guide on how to act straight 

I’m well too, just that I’ve been ruminating over what you said the last time we talked: “I’m on WikiHow reading an article on straight-acting.” I vowed not to reply until I found you some help. To make this happen, I had to examine the trail of ash you’re leaving behind for people to see, and browsing your Facebook profile and your Medium articles on self-discovery, the bells started to ring: “This boy is CLEARLY gay! This boy is clearly GAY!”

From Our Allies

How to woman your man 

Today marks my 25th wedding anniversary. Twenty-five years that I have lived with my man. This longevity I celebrate today only came as a result of my unflinching assertiveness. From my reservoir of experience, I will be sharing a few lessons with you. Lessons that if you adopt, ladies, your marriage will be just as lengthy—if not lengthier— and merry.

From Our Allies

The fall of the Nigerian comedy industry 

Professional comedians should start watching their backs. I pray that the extinction of that industry isn’t imminent. A new class of comedians is emerging with great comic capacity more than anything we’ve ever seen. They don’t require anything to launch their profession other than a public office or an opportunity to serve the people. The only due they pay to remain in the industry is required every four years.